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Home >> Love & Relationships >> Unique subject
24.06.2009, 20:05 quote
Why do people fail to understand that if someone likes/loves you, that someone will act like it?
Even the bad boys/girls won't be rude or inappropriate if they really like/love you.
There's no such thing as... He chats to his ex and tells me I don't know what flirting is about, she couldn't call, he didn't have time to write, she just didn't feel like havin' a drink at that time, etc.
There's only one problem in the whole equation and that's shyness. But even the shiest people have ways of showing you they like/love you. Even if they do it in awkward ways. You'll know.
As for the asking someone out. Most people who are afraid to do it... It's because they're afraid of getting rejected or being inappropriate.
Relationships won't always work, sometimes they'll just be friendships, sometimes they'll be more, etc.
However... In any circumstances... Someone who loves you or wants any sort of relationship with you will never treat you like crap or not speak to you for ages.
That's pretty much how it goes. WHY SO SERIOUS? LOL
I wish I understood my lessons. PMSL
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25.06.2009, 09:31 quote
We certainly have missed your 'unique subjects' Bliss
Dont always understand them...not unless I read the half a dozen times anyays...but hey!!
26.06.2009, 05:31 quote
you missed one key factor off the list there...
Confidence.
Being shy and being confident are different - being shy means you'll feel silly while doing it, being confident means you'll spend 3 days thinking about it and then probably bottle it in final few moments, trust me... it's a problem i have ! ( i'm trying to deal with it though )
just my 2p
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26.06.2009, 18:42 quote
I agree, if someone wants to be with you, they will try and be with you, when i want to talk to someone i will get in touch,
this is not to be mistaken or confused with, endless calls endless texts and pestering for attention.
As for confidence, i dunno, if your confident then you wont bottle it, if your shy you could plan it for days but then bottle it, i used to be confident and never bottled it, then i lost it, (still cant find it, not sure what it looks like) so now i would say i am shy, ( I lack confidence so just keep stummm)
just my pennies worth, but hey friday night and i am home alone, posting on forums, so what do i remember? lol
27.06.2009, 13:39 quote
| shystef wrote: |
| I agree, if someone wants to be with you, they will try and be with you, when i want to talk to someone i will get in touch,
this is not to be mistaken or confused with, endless calls endless texts and pestering for attention. As for confidence, i dunno, if your confident then you wont bottle it, if your shy you could plan it for days but then bottle it, i used to be confident and never bottled it, then i lost it, (still cant find it, not sure what it looks like) so now i would say i am shy, ( I lack confidence so just keep stummm) just my pennies worth, but hey friday night and i am home alone, posting on forums, so what do i remember? lol |
Confidence can come and go. An event or a series of events can knock you and make you think negatively about yourself and others. Its not always easy to get back, and maybe it never will. Sometimes its just a matter of trust, in yourself and others.
27.06.2009, 17:08 quote
| Bliss23 wrote: |
| Why do people fail to understand that if someone likes/loves you, that someone will act like it?
Even the bad boys/girls won't be rude or inappropriate if they really like/love you. There's no such thing as... He chats to his ex and tells me I don't know what flirting is about, she couldn't call, he didn't have time to write, she just didn't feel like havin' a drink at that time, etc. There's only one problem in the whole equation and that's shyness. But even the shiest people have ways of showing you they like/love you. Even if they do it in awkward ways. You'll know. As for the asking someone out. Most people who are afraid to do it... It's because they're afraid of getting rejected or being inappropriate. Relationships won't always work, sometimes they'll just be friendships, sometimes they'll be more, etc. However... In any circumstances... Someone who loves you or wants any sort of relationship with you will never treat you like crap or not speak to you for ages. That's pretty much how it goes. WHY SO SERIOUS? LOL I wish I understood my lessons. PMSL |
i had been getting withdrawl symptoms from your lessons in life so thanks for posting that and as usual u made a lot of sense
29.06.2009, 10:39 quote
I won't start a new subject, I'll just ramble some more here, but do stay with me please... Your opinions on the subject would be greatly appreciated.
See, as I was saying before, when someone likes you they let you know, one way or another. Even if they like you as friends or as lovers, they'll let you know.
Usually if you pay attention to your body, you'll notice when someone likes you and how they like you. We're designed to notice that. It's part of two things. The mating process and the friend status (the last one as opposed to the enemy status).
However, of course, you must pay real close attention to your body and your life, because, par example... If you haven't hubba hubbed in ages, your body might mistake signals and take them for what it wants them to be, instead of what they really are.
What I really wanted to point out though is that, apart from what I've mentioned before, there's a weird species.
Most people show you when they like you, but this weird species... It's set back to when they were kids.
See, when we're kids we somehow learn that if we like someone we should act the exact opposite. Now that's been debated and it apparently comes from the fear that others might think you're some sissy for having feelings or you're not good enough for the other person.
Later in life some adults can hold on that.
I've met more than one people who acted that way and eventually confessed their affection. And I acted that way lots of times, although I really liked the other person.
It mostly happens out of fear of rejection or other psychological problems.
Now those are the only individuals who act the opposite when they like someone, but even they show their affection every blue moon. However you usually can't actually put your finger on it and say: They like me.
I know y'all didn't understand a thing again, but if some of you did, I'm expecting opinions.
Do the later mentioned individuals give particular signals? ![]()
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29.06.2009, 16:32 quote
Well my gut instinct is to say who cares? If an adult is treating you like shit because they fancy you isn't it time they grew up and got the balls to ask you out? They probably are insecure, but that isn't your problem, and mind games are tiresome. Or have I missed the point?
29.06.2009, 16:57 quote
You've missed it. Threatenin you? FFS... I said actin' like they didn't like you much, not threatenin' you. LOL
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29.06.2009, 17:04 quote
acting like they didn't like you much when really they do....isnt that what little boys and girls do when they are in the social gender identification stage.....if such a stage even exists
So if an adult is doing that still, could they not just be immature?
29.06.2009, 17:39 quote
I think it's more like a fear of rejection (which can actually come from past experience) rather than an immature behavior.
Besides, as I said... Causes for it can also be psychological... Like par example I know of someone who was being distant to someone else, although they liked them immensely, just because they felt they had other issues to solve first. Issues which if brought into the relationship could hurt the other.
There are lots of things happenin' out there young Scottie. I think describing the distant behaviour whilst liking someone with one word, like immature, is rather unfair.
Besides... Once upon a time I actually wondered when do kids start acting the opposite when they like someone. And why do kids make fun of other kids when they like someone.
I don't remember the answers I got to this. Maybe it's home education. I don't know.
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29.06.2009, 18:09 quote
Oh, so now we've narrowed it to 'distant behaviour'?
Right, so it's just shyness and acting a bit awkwardly? Pretending to be uninterested while actually feeling great desire beneath their stoic facade? Or have I missed it again?
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