In case anyone is wondering what the relationship between the original post and mine above is - as a general rule of thumb (I can’t speak for SmittenKitten, or anyone else, of course), someone who is playing the field with multiple boyfriends/girlfriends etc is usually indecisive; they can’t make up their minds which one best suits their overall needs – or they’re playing the field until someone ‘better’ comes along, instead of evaluating the long term potential of someone they’re already with. Eventually, people get fed up with being treated badly, and move on. Here today, gone tomorrow......

Likewise, with dithering in contacting someone, or making a positive move at actually meeting someone they have an interest in, if someone waits too long, it is usually because they’re hoping someone ‘better’ comes along (i.e. nearer geographically, more wealthy, younger, older, taller, shorter, whatever). By the time you’ve dithered around and realised that no-one else *is* going to come along, weeks/months could have gone by, and you could have missed that chance with someone who could have been ideal for you. In the age of modern technology where contact is instantaneous, at the click of a Send button, someone who is attractively appealing and single today could be happily contemplating a new relationship tomorrow.

Generally ive always been nice and treated people with respect, when i treat people mean it shows more results.

There is an opposite side to treat em mean keep em keen...

Not treating em mean at all and always trying to do the right thing... This is always met with suspicion as if there must be some kind of hidden agenda, too good too be true, call it what ever you like but... It is feels like I should be mean in order for women to think there is nothing wrong and everything is OK! What?

I'm sorry, but I really don't understand this mentally! I treat others as I would like to be treated.... therefore I'm pretty good/nice (such a lame word) to almost everybody and generally it's how others treat me. I don't expect, or even want, the 'treat 'em mean keep 'em keen' mentality. It's pathetic.

There are just as many 'nice' women as there are 'nice' men. If it's what you really want, get out there and blody well find it!


NB this aimed at no one person. It's a general statement to all those that think there are no nice guys/gals out there.

Good reply and... I do think along the same lines as you, I didn't like where I was at so I rebuilt it. Hindsight is a great thing, I just remember it not being so easy at the time. Has this all boiled down to Life is what you make it?

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This Is so true ...

I always treated my partners with love and respect, and what I got in return was ... absolutly nothing.. I got dumped, cheated on, you name it ..

on the other hand, I have "friends" ( not friends, but people I know ) that treat women like crap, they treat them really bad, cheat on them, dont respect them at all, and they come crawling back to them.. almost begging the guys to give them another chance, So I say ... maybe I should be more like that, perhaps I will have a better chance on that


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTT !!! Women just dont give a damm about the ones that treat them nice, because they think is a sure thing with them ..

I would say the women who "crawl back" to the guys who treat them badly are the women who have little or no self-esteem, which is why the two of them gravitated to each other in the first place.
Not all women 'crawl back' to guys who treat them badly. Me for one. I have some self-esteem and know I am worth better than that.
It boils down to what has been said a zillion times before on other threads, it depends on what you equate as being treated well or not.
I know some women who say a guy treats her badly just because he doesnt drop everything and come running every time she crooks her little finger...on the other hand, a guy who *does* do that is called a wimp...so guys cant really win one way or tuther can they?

Probably not ... I just meant that it sickens me to see that happen.. and it always does..

But thats the way life is i guess..


I guess I´ll never figure that out.. it´s like that saying goes .. " Nice guys always finish Last "

I have never ever treated anyone mean in my life, perhaps i'm just too nice & then get taken advantage off

The nicer I am the more I get sh1t on