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Home >> Love & Relationships >> Treat em mean and keep em keen?

04.03.2008, 13:32 quote

SmittenKitten
SmittenKitten Joined: 25 Aug 2007 Posts: 55 Location: Ireland, Kildare, Kildare
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Any truth to this old adage?

The guy I just broke up with treated me fairly badly...and when I asked him one night why, he replied "Cos you let me..."

So since we've broken up I've become a bit of a bitch where guys are concerned...and it's working, if truth be told.
I have three or four guys that I'm dating, they all know that the others exist and have no problem with it so far. One of them tried coming onto the same 17 year old cousin that I broke up with my ex over and I promptly dropped him like a hot potato....but he's groveling...even went so far as to text HER MOTHER and apologise for texting her daughter and to ask if she'd pass on a message...that he's deleted her number from his phone and it's me he really wants. I'm on two minds whether to give him another chance...we're in contact...but only just. It's him doing all the running.

So I put this to you guys... is treating them mean keeping them keen?

 

04.03.2008, 14:02 quote

Anonymous

SmittenKitten wrote:


So I put this to you guys... is treating them mean keeping them keen?


Depends on the person, doesn't it? For myself, at the first sign of someone 'treating me mean to keep me keen', I'd tell her to piss off back to the playground and wouldn't bother seeing her again. In my mind, anyone who stays with (or wants to be with) someone (regardless of which way around it is) who is treating them like that is probably either a doormat or desperate.

 

04.03.2008, 14:40 quote

macca65
macca65 Joined: 16 Aug 2006 Posts: 120 Location: United Kingdom, England, Bedfordshire
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Works for some, others it doesn't!
I'm with darkhorse on this one; anyone does it to me and I'm off; definitely wouldn't put up with it!

 

04.03.2008, 14:58 quote

SmittenKitten
SmittenKitten Joined: 25 Aug 2007 Posts: 55 Location: Ireland, Kildare, Kildare
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I find that if I don't put my foot down in relationships though I get walked all over. I think I'm too nice...that's why I decided to try the other side of the fence for a while.... *shrugs*

 

04.03.2008, 15:05 quote

Anonymous

SmittenKitten wrote:
I find that if I don't put my foot down in relationships though I get walked all over. I think I'm too nice...that's why I decided to try the other side of the fence for a while.... *shrugs*


The biggest problem with trying the other side of the fence (I assume you mean being mean rather than women instead of men kind of other side of the fence) is that a reputation for being like that is very difficult to get rid of further down the line.

 

04.03.2008, 15:07 quote

macca65
macca65 Joined: 16 Aug 2006 Posts: 120 Location: United Kingdom, England, Bedfordshire
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SmittenKitten wrote:
I find that if I don't put my foot down in relationships though I get walked all over. I think I'm too nice...that's why I decided to try the other side of the fence for a while.... *shrugs*


Well you've got 3 or 4 guys who are happy with what you're doing, so I don't see a problem. It's obviously working for you.
Just saying it wouldn't be me, that's all.

 

04.03.2008, 16:50 quote

Anonymous

well any bloke who allows themselves to be treated like that asks for all they get. personally anyone who tried to treat me that way would be promtly told to piss off.

 

04.03.2008, 16:52 quote

scottlarock

why would you want to treat somebody they like meanly? surely thats a sign that the one doing the mistreatment has a poor self esteem and needs to treat others like shit in order to feel better about themselves or feel they have some sort of power?

each to their own buts fucked up in my opinion.

 

04.03.2008, 17:19 quote

Anonymous

Funny how only men have answered so far, and we've all said the same thing......

 

04.03.2008, 17:24 quote

Anonymous

IT is (sadly) true, it is a case of tread on or be trodden on, but only sometimes.
The hard part is when you find someone you really do care for, you find yourself wanting to do nice things for them, so you really can't win.
I think as you get older, or should I say I HOPE that when you get older, this is not the case.
When you are the one being trodden on, it seems like the more you try, the worse it gets too.
I've been in both situations, and when you are the one being hurt it sucks, but when you are the 'nasty' one you get plagued by guilt at a later date...........

 

04.03.2008, 17:30 quote

annmarie5988

Well having being hurt in the past by men trying to 'treat me mean to keep me keen' .......... i sort of know where Mandy is coming from .......... not that it's in my nature to do it to anyone else .......... I think my problem is i am too nice and guys thought they could treat me like that .......... but glad to say i am not so nice nowadays .......... dont wear my heart on my sleeve so much and dont jump at there every word ......... especially if i like someone ......... my favourite couple of words 'self preservation'

 

04.03.2008, 17:35 quote

myriad
myriad Joined: 01 Dec 2006 Posts: 1343 Location: United Kingdom, England, Norfolk
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I hate the idea of being mean to keep 'em keen, I can only think in terms of treating others, whoever they are in the same ways that I want to be treated.

 

04.03.2008, 17:35 quote

Anonymous

Yeah I can relate to that too, when you let them in, sometimes they marry you up!

 

04.03.2008, 18:29 quote

TimboDSLR
TimboDSLR Joined: 03 Jun 2007 Posts: 255 Location: United Kingdom, England, Shropshire
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Treat me with respect and I'll treat you the same. Treat me mean, and you'll be talking to an empty space!

tim

 

04.03.2008, 18:39 quote

Anonymous

TimboDSLR wrote:
Treat me with respect and I'll treat you the same. Treat me mean, and you'll be talking to an empty space!

tim


just like he said

 
 
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