Favourites
Most popular topics | Love & Relationshipsopen/close
- Who fancies who?... (1299)
- Fess up... (670)
- look or personality... (261)
- Do you want a relationshi... (250)
- For Men, whats your Type?... (225)
- Is there any Genuine True... (213)
- do u fancy anyone of site... (173)
- why do men not want love ... (153)
- Do you think big is beaut... (143)
- Regrets! what was yours... (141)
- Mystery social expert exp... (112)
- CAN YOU BE FRIENDS WITH A... (100)
- Turn offs....... (99)
- Friends with an ex?... (99)
- What is your wish for chr... (99)
- Love requests here... (94)
- Do women want fat blokes?... (92)
- Is it still considered ge... (91)
- At What Stage Do You Simp... (90)
- what do you think love is... (87)
- Babies in new relationshi... (83)
- Men. What is wrong with t... (79)
- First Impressions!... (76)
- CAN YOU HONESTLY SAY YOU ... (75)
- Is love real?... (74)
Latest topics | Love & Relationshipsopen/close
- why.. just why...
- Any real men?...
- TO special person hu I al...
- Love and marriage....
- Need help to break up mat...
- I'd like to meeeeet a gir...
- I nid a soulmate...
- Infidelity...
- The last time you were in...
- SPAM...
- SPAM...
- Nature reserve guy...
- Girl thinks im out of lin...
- Love addiction...
- Looks....
- What are the signs of che...
- Success!!!...
- people in hamilton...
- Guaranteed A Good time Da...
- how hot am i ?/10...
- Would anyone like to chat...
- The evolutionary explaina...
- Need advice on dating/fin...
- ten ton penguin just some...
- The One -part II as I can...
Home >> Love & Relationships >> The silent treatment...
12.10.2007, 16:39 quote
I split up with a girl a few years back and i was getting some of the silent treatment during the break (i kinda knew that we'd be back together to be honest but sure you know yourself at the time, its not good.) and i got a great piece of advice at the time from a good mate of mine.
He said "you can stay pining for days on end banging you head off a wall looking for a response ....... but don't". He was saying to carry on life as normal, or even more so. Pick five things that you have been meaning to do for a while. Go see some place, meet up with old friends, do something you have wanted to do for ages, even buy something that you really want.
Don't hang about waiting for a something miraculous to happen, obvious don't hang your girl up with your coat, still try and resolve the issue and consider it from her point of view as well. But if you are all glum and moopy staring at the walls all day wondering when it will all be resolved then you probably aren't going to be the most amicable guy in the world and less likely to resolve your difference with herself. Get out there and do it.
Its sounds kinda basic, a kind of 'make your own destiny' theory but its simple and it works. It would apply to the girls as well, anyhoo ..... i thought it was good piece of advice.
16.10.2007, 08:26 quote
It's unlkely there isn't one person here who has a online tete-a-tete with someone then ceases for no apprent reason..a chase or two goes without reply
There are 2 suggested way to deal with it
1) If you uhav't heard anything back form someone without cause or reason, sned them a çahser'email..obvious of course, but not with'Why Have You contected me?????' Just hope your wel...hav't heard form you in some time...enjoying the converstaion we have.. etc.
DON'T CONTACT THEM A 2ND TIME, MOVE ON. Some people, women or MEn will repsond after 2nd , 3rd etc..as if nothing has happend! That mena they don't vcare about you & your a fish on their bait..they are incontrol
If somone has basic respect valuems about themselves, and hence, about other people they will reply, even it's with a 'no thanks'
2) Like, respect & love yourself enough to move on & concentre on your own liofe..if you here just waiting...& wiating...& waiting...that time could be spent on enjoying, yourslef , learning something new about the world, or even yourself. I got to PizzaExpress on myw own, with the newspaper or a book...a lot Less sad than syaing Please contact Me Back..Please..I Like You..blah, blah, blahIf you can't do any otf that without ebing with someone, then look in the mirror
Partners\g-b-friends are with us because of who we are as a individual
Value Yourself.
22.10.2007, 21:39 quote
| coasttocoast wrote: |
| I've never had someone give me the silent treatment until very recently- And its horrible, you try to call and get an answer, you send messages that get no reply, start worrying and end up tearing your hair out and looking like a stalker. I think its the very worst thing you can do to someone, when to avoid all the pain and misery is to just tell the person what is going on and not subject them to a wall of silence? In my case my silent treatment was off my ex-girlfriend who didnt have the guts to tell me she didn't want to be friends with me anymore. Maybe I should have took the hint but maybe she should have just told me-which she still has to do, but I've now taken the hint. Surely everyone has experienced it, so why do people inflict it? All viewpoints welcome |
That happened to me with my last relationship, worse still, when she finally broker her silence, she threw accusations of 'harrasment' to me and she said it to others, and I supposedly made her feel 'uncomfortable' just because I kept trying to contact over the course of a day - she had been ignoring me for a week, but I was so certian that the entirely resolvable issue had, in fact been resolved, it didn't dawn on me til the end of the week!
Then, in a desperate effort to save the relationship, I gave in over the matter we were arguing about, but it wasn't any good - I never heard from her again.
In short, I do not know why she broke up with me, the original issue could have been resolved rationally, and even if by some some small chance I had made her feel uncomfortable over my attempts at contact - she should have understood I was at my wits end... so, she was making excuses on two fronts for breaking up, neither really valid, and so, I still wonder why she really ended it.
No matter, I put it down to experience - always tread carefully with long-distance romances, mobile phones and computers are a poor substitute for working things out face-to-face!
22.10.2007, 21:45 quote
| samatron wrote: |
| I've experienced the silent treatment while in relationships.
It reeks of weakness, petulence and naivety. [b]If it is supposed to have the effect of inducing contrition, it seems to incur the opposite effect in me... loss of respect.[/b] |
Absolutely - it shows a lack of consideration for the other person's feelings - in both that person's sense of worry, and his side of the argument.
22.10.2007, 21:53 quote
| loubylou wrote: |
| i personally think using the silent treatment is very childish and very annoying i would sooner date a squid than date somebody who will use this form of manipulation in a relationship. |
Manipulation is the word - I think you find that anyone who ends a relationship like that was very manipulative during the course of the relationship - something you only seem to realise in hindsight, though
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


