I dont know about all this "the one" business. its some fairtale that hollywood has put upon us. I am too busy enjoying myself with the woman i am with now to be thinking about "the one" and all that shit, i am in love, dont know how long it will last but i sure as hell am gonna enjoy it while it lasts. good luck to all you "the one" searchers

My friend is still hoping for the 'the one' but now she's in her late forties and the field has narrowed to men who aren't interested in having children. I keep telling her that there are men who don't want kids, but she thinks all men want them.....anyway, I think she's still a good catch for someone 'cos she's such a lovely person. I'm pretty sure she still believes that there is 'the one' out there somewhere I just hope she's lucky to find him or someone else to love and be happy with.

Stu - my husband was 50 when our youngest was born. You might not suddenly become a geriatric you know! What I'm saying is, dont dismiss the idea JUST because of your age. Can't tell you how you personally would feel about 2 hourly night feeds etc. though! (I'm 41 and I couldn't do it now!).

i think in years gone by the term "the one " could be applied because poeple stayed within the same cities and countries most of their lives so would only meet one or two compatible soulmates.

nowadays with the increase in imigration,people travelling and the internet its easier to come across a bigger selection of partners suitable for you.

I think I know what you mean Stu. I have 4 kids but don't want to be with someone who has young kids about on a regular basis, and god forbid they should want more!

At 41 I feel I've already given my best years to bringing up children and want time to myself. My 2 youngest live with their dad and my 2 eldest are now more or less independant adults. Apart from the constraints of a job, my time and money are my own now.

It was difficult enough starting again when the boys came along (there's 9 years between youngest girl and oldest boy), to do it all again (the sleepless nights, the constant needs/demands conversations revolving around whats the best nappy brand etc) fills me with dread at the meer thought!

And I really don't know where I'm going with this as my train of thought has just taken a wrong turn and got completely lost!! LOL I didn't think that was possible in the virtual world!!

I'm not really sure how I got onto the topic of children further back in the thread (I can't be bothered reading my own drivel ), but in some ways the 'selfishness' that results with age (and having already had kids and now wanting some 'me time') and not wanting anymore children can often be applied to relationships, or looking for 'the one'

To some extent, even though I still have vague hopes of meeting another soul mate, I quite often find myself irked by intrusions when I want to get on with my own things (but am getting much better at dealiong with them, as they aren't really intrusions are they?), which I suppose isn't a very good sign. I guess I've just never fallen that much in love that I am prepared to put someone else first and foremost in my life. I used to, but found my own life (especially work, and therefore income) took a downward turn, so now I try to find a compromise.

Hmmm, maybe it's time to talk to Mrs Darkhorse about what her expectations and hopes with me are. Or I shall point her in the direction of this thread and ask her if I am 'the one' for her

"To some extent, even though I still have vague hopes of meeting another soul mate, I quite often find myself irked by intrusions when I want to get on with my own things (but am getting much better at dealiong with them, as they aren't really intrusions are they?), which I suppose isn't a very good sign".

oooh Stu, I'm glad I'm not the only one!!! I was talking with a friend about this the other day, how guilty that makes me feel cuz I really really DO want to put some effort in, but like my own space too much!