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Home >> Love & Relationships >> Open Marriage - Can it work?

11.10.2008, 14:34 quote

colkitto

jeggae wrote:
colkitto wrote:
jeggae wrote:
mimib wrote:
My guess would rather be that if a couple is lacking of communication or simply lived apart they are trying to spice up their life - seeing their love-life as an indicator for the entire relationship. In the end everybody has a free will and is responsible for his own decision.


I agree, I never judge anyone and let everyone get on with it. That includes age etc.

But these arrangements wouldnt work if there wasnt communication. If they ain't strong relationships/marriages they wouldn't work.


how magnanimous of you...communication is just a trite word, my mother used to "communicate" with me..as she quite rightly beat the crud outta me for my latest misdemeanor, what you seem to think is that's it's all done with noble intention, some read to many romantic porn stories, the reality is usually, some poor lass frightened of losing her man unless she joins in the "esprit de corps" often times she will have been told how boring the love life is (his/99% mans fault) he thinks, my marriage is dull lets get someone to hump my beloved, that will make us even happier...chuckle...


You're coming across [to me] as someone who's led a sheltered life. Women can get just as bored with their love lives as men. Some women are actually the dominant partner in the relationship.

Obviously we all have different experiences. In my experience SOME women can be just as controlling as men, and some women actually do like love. I can show you some sites where women actively look for men [and women] for love, sometimes with the agreement of their partner, sometimes behind the partners back.

Last night on another dating site similar to this, a woman who I've met at a meet, told me she'd like me to go up to see her, and I know she has a partner. She made it plain she only wants one thing. I said I would, but doubt I'll email her. Only because she lives too far away.

As I've always been single, it as been a constant problem for me. So I know some women can be not very innocent.


colkitto wrote:
yeah right.....or does each to their own, now extend to pedophiles next....perverts are perverts....as we Scots say.."aye it's a sair ficht"...lol


Very juvenile retort, of course I meant anything legal and harmless.


..sheltered life eh...worked in over 80 countries ..and all the sins the Oilfiled throws at a man....never mind shall leave it at that, you clearly don't enjoy correction factors in arguments...but delighted I got under yer skin...you Internet warrior you...lol

 

11.10.2008, 15:02 quote

jeggae

colkitto wrote:
jeggae wrote:
colkitto wrote:
jeggae wrote:
mimib wrote:
My guess would rather be that if a couple is lacking of communication or simply lived apart they are trying to spice up their life - seeing their love-life as an indicator for the entire relationship. In the end everybody has a free will and is responsible for his own decision.


I agree, I never judge anyone and let everyone get on with it. That includes age etc.

But these arrangements wouldnt work if there wasnt communication. If they ain't strong relationships/marriages they wouldn't work.


how magnanimous of you...communication is just a trite word, my mother used to "communicate" with me..as she quite rightly beat the crud outta me for my latest misdemeanor, what you seem to think is that's it's all done with noble intention, some read to many romantic porn stories, the reality is usually, some poor lass frightened of losing her man unless she joins in the "esprit de corps" often times she will have been told how boring the love life is (his/99% mans fault) he thinks, my marriage is dull lets get someone to hump my beloved, that will make us even happier...chuckle...


You're coming across [to me] as someone who's led a sheltered life. Women can get just as bored with their love lives as men. Some women are actually the dominant partner in the relationship.

Obviously we all have different experiences. In my experience SOME women can be just as controlling as men, and some women actually do like love. I can show you some sites where women actively look for men [and women] for love, sometimes with the agreement of their partner, sometimes behind the partners back.

Last night on another dating site similar to this, a woman who I've met at a meet, told me she'd like me to go up to see her, and I know she has a partner. She made it plain she only wants one thing. I said I would, but doubt I'll email her. Only because she lives too far away.

As I've always been single, it as been a constant problem for me. So I know some women can be not very innocent.


colkitto wrote:
yeah right.....or does each to their own, now extend to pedophiles next....perverts are perverts....as we Scots say.."aye it's a sair ficht"...lol


Very juvenile retort, of course I meant anything legal and harmless.


..sheltered life eh...worked in over 80 countries ..and all the sins the Oilfiled throws at a man....never mind shall leave it at that, you clearly don't enjoy correction factors in arguments...but delighted I got under yer skin...you Internet warrior you...lol


Seems there is no point in arguing with you as you are obviously right. Even though this was a thread asking for opinions.

I dont mind being corrected if someone gives me facts, figures and proof. But this thread was only about opions. Which is all you gave.

Very odd.

 

11.10.2008, 21:34 quote

Cazzabee
Cazzabee Joined: 05 Jan 2006 Posts: 7246 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Fife
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choochi0 wrote:
colkitto wrote:
"aye it's a sair ficht"...lol


Can someone decipher for me please?


Well i would read it as "yes it's a sore fight" but hey what do I know Laughing



Can we keep the subject on the subject matter please peeps and not descend into little digs at each other otherwise the thread will be locked

Thank You

 

12.10.2008, 12:36 quote

redelicious
redelicious Joined: 19 Feb 2008 Posts: 1609 Location: United Kingdom, England, Lincolnshire
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jeggae wrote:
ysabel1970 wrote:
An open relationship is never entirely open....one person at least feels compromised. If you want to be allowed to sleep around, first become single and then you can do what the hell you like! It's not difficult to work out. Neither children nor finances are a good enough reason to stay in a sham relationship.


That's not strictly true. I know some open relationships where there are no problems.

ditto
_________________
"Always look on the bright side of life..... tetum tetumtetumtetum....."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo

 

12.10.2008, 12:42 quote

pegasus68

Well, I don't know if I could do it. But I luckily know some couples that do.
I'm planning a date with such a couple in a couples club in Holland next month. It should be fun. Holland is so free with such stuff, less stuffy maybe.

 

12.10.2008, 12:48 quote

redelicious
redelicious Joined: 19 Feb 2008 Posts: 1609 Location: United Kingdom, England, Lincolnshire
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Shame really, I 'got' your funny post in another thread. I liked the hidden humour, understood it even, but it would seem you have a narrow mind. One that expects others to listen and comprehend your point of view but not given the same politeness in return.

Whatever your feelings on open marriages, some of us here know of couples where it has worked, for many years. They've been happy together, and most importantly, 'communicated'. Something you don't seem to be so good at yourself.

As for your comments towards Cazzabee, as a moderator, she has every right to try and quell something before it becomes an argument, it's not at all school marmish, but part of her job description.

And yes I will no doubt get a ticking off, in private cos that's the way it's done here, for putting my two pen'orth in.
_________________
"Always look on the bright side of life..... tetum tetumtetumtetum....."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo

 

12.10.2008, 14:34 quote

mimib
Joined: 05 Oct 2008 Posts: 1029 Location: Germany, ,
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jeggae wrote:

But these arrangements wouldn't work if there wasnt communication. If they ain't strong relationships/marriages they wouldn't work.


colkitto wrote:
...communication is just a trite word, my mother used to "communicate" with me..as she quite rightly beat the crud outta me for my latest misdemeanor,


Don't want to stir anything up between you both, but actually communication is not only about plain words. I have been beaten by my mum, she once smashed my stereo with a hammer because I broke the hover accidently. But as a grown up I understand that it was her way of saying "I am absolutely overstrained" as she was a single mother and had to bring us kids up on her own. Speaking of a lack of communication can also mean, that one is only agreeing to a certain arrangement in order to make things working, not because he/she really wants that on his own. As communication is not as clear and apparent sometimes.

 

12.10.2008, 15:05 quote

Cazzabee
Cazzabee Joined: 05 Jan 2006 Posts: 7246 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Fife
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Colkitto....pm coming your way just as you wanted. When you have actually read the rules on here come back to me.

 

12.10.2008, 15:09 quote

bexbex

And back on the thread...............

No i couldn't do an open relationship, probably because i'm too insecure, i like my man to be my man and not want to be with anyone else. If he loved me why would he want to be with anyone else anyway??

 

12.10.2008, 15:18 quote

Cazzabee
Cazzabee Joined: 05 Jan 2006 Posts: 7246 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Fife
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Cheers Bex

Think you've just read my mind there. "If he loved me why would he want to be with anyone else anyway??". I'm enough for one man believe me Laughing

 

12.10.2008, 15:19 quote

colkitto

Cazzabee wrote:
Colkitto....pm coming your way just as you wanted. When you have actually read the rules on here come back to me.


..aye like a I give a tinkers curse what some middle aged housewife addicted to internet with a wee delusion of adequacy about herself thinks about me....lol..

 

12.10.2008, 15:36 quote

Cazzabee
Cazzabee Joined: 05 Jan 2006 Posts: 7246 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Fife
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colkitto wrote:
Cazzabee wrote:
Colkitto....pm coming your way just as you wanted. When you have actually read the rules on here come back to me.


..aye like a I give a tinkers curse what some middle aged housewife addicted to internet with a wee delusion of adequacy about herself thinks about me....lol..


You should be on the stage Colkitto....Maybe not as a mind reader though and certainly not as a comedian

 

12.10.2008, 15:38 quote

bexbex

Cazzabee wrote:
I'm enough for one man believe me Laughing


You and me both honey Wink

 

12.10.2008, 15:43 quote

jeggae

mimib wrote:
jeggae wrote:

But these arrangements wouldn't work if there wasnt communication. If they ain't strong relationships/marriages they wouldn't work.


colkitto wrote:
...communication is just a trite word, my mother used to "communicate" with me..as she quite rightly beat the crud outta me for my latest misdemeanor,


Don't want to stir anything up between you both, but actually communication is not only about plain words. I have been beaten by my mum, she once smashed my stereo with a hammer because I broke the hover accidently. But as a grown up I understand that it was her way of saying "I am absolutely overstrained" as she was a single mother and had to bring us kids up on her own. Speaking of a lack of communication can also mean, that one is only agreeing to a certain arrangement in order to make things working, not because he/she really wants that on his own. As communication is not as clear and apparent sometimes.


Communication was a bit of a bum steer, that probably has little to do with this subject, to be honest

I'm hoping top get an insight into what my mum was 'communicating' to me soon...and why she felt the need to 'communicate' more to me then my siblings Surprised Smile

 

12.10.2008, 16:10 quote

jeggae

bexbex wrote:
And back on the thread...............

No i couldn't do an open relationship, probably because i'm too insecure, i like my man to be my man and not want to be with anyone else. If he loved me why would he want to be with anyone else anyway??


Some men can separate love form love. They can have love with other people but still love you. Obviously if you didn't like this, and they had love without you knowing. That is deceit and is obviously wrong, and not fair on you.

I know of women who draw a blind eye to their men having love with other women. But they have no intentions of having love with other men.

Alternatively there are women that can also separate love from love, and would like love with other people. If these two like minded people meet. They could have an open relationship, and probably an happy one.


Incidentally, I can tell you some stories about my mates wives and girlfriends where love is concerned. I've only succumbed once Surprised

 
 
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