Break ups are always bad let's not make out it isn't,but there is always at least one thing (if not more) we learn from it that makes us even better people.

For me I gained some confedence in my physical apperace and don't feel like I look ugly anymore(there are still down times but only brief) and I also gained a sense of focus in my life that was lacking before.

What about you,it would be nice to hear the postive things you got from a bad time

Well the best thing I got from my break up was my strength and self confidence back again. I did the usual crying, really bad crying actually, hell like mega mad hysterical crying...but after a very short time, I just said NO. I just chose not to feel like that anymore, strange what the brain can achieve when you put your mind to it! So yeah, for me it's positivity, to get out there, in that big wide world and start living life more.

My last bad breakup involved her swindling £1,000s out of me when I was being nice to her. The positive is that whilst I still get pissed off about it sometimes I haven't let it affect the way I treat people. I'd be exactly the same in the same situation again...just hopefully not getting conned this time!
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I can't help it!

I gained my self respect and my confidence back from my first break up. Well - it took a while but I got there in the end.
I also learnt that I'm stronger than I thought I was at the time, and that I didn't have to put up with ANY kind of shit from men.
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Laura
xx

Confidence - Wear it like make up.

I think from my last relationship i took away the understanding that i sometimes see things too black and white and i need to check myself sometimes for that to make sure i am still being considerate. I think the negative things, or the perceived negative things about ones own way of relating to other people are quite hard to admit to or even recognize, but that was quite an important for me and a valuable lesson.

I gained back my self respect and confidence ............ try not to wear my heart on my sleeve as much now .......... but cant help being me can i ............. just maybe hold back a bit on the feelings ........... and when the feelings start to come .......... i break it off ........... self preservation is a terrible thing ..........

I learnt that I am capable of more than I realised and to accept that which I cannot do or change.
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"Always look on the bright side of life..... tetum tetumtetumtetum....."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo

There is actually a lil bit of good that i learned out of my last break - up. In the end i realised that i don`t have to put up woth crap from men .......... tell them what you think and don`t hold back.

If you let them away with something once, they will forever do it and take you for the mug.

So i learned to get my self respect back, to be stronger and that i can deal with all sorts without realising it

After an 18 year marriage and a bit of mending time I regained my
SENSE OF SELF,
and the interesting thing was, that I hadn't realised I'd lost it in the first place. Basically I had become depersonalised within my marriage. and had been used to 'treading on eggshells' when at home, but at work I felt like a bird being let out of a cage even though I had a stressful job.

What I have learned? One thing is this. Next time, if or when the other person (and this includes ANY relationship, be it a family member, friend or partner) does something that upsets, offends or I find unacceptable behavior, I will SAY SO immediately, and not let it slide continuously - or at least, not what I did, keep 'nagging' that I am not happy about it, and yet continue to allow it to happen. Because letting it build up to the point where I am saying "Enough!" he had no idea what the problem was, because I had always let him do it, after a little bit of nagging. So I only had myself to blame when we split up and he said "Huh?".
If you accept someone's behavior, then you cant blame them for presuming its ok. Even if it means 'putting up with' you moaning about it a little, they just see it as 'the norm'.
"You get the behavior you tolerate" - from now on, I intend to say when it bothers me, and deal with it head on.

I know this started off as a positive thread, but I just wondered what people thought about their own nature. What I mean is, some things we can change, but do you think you can change evrything about yourself. For example, it's easy in hindsight to say that we know what went wrong, what we did, what we should have done differently, and that we will not go there again. But do you think after a long while in another relationship, that those strong positive feelings can get all lost again, and then you are in the same place, maybe because we can't change some deep parts of our self, because that is just who we are, and maybe we are with the wrong person again...it's hard sometimes to keep the realy strong messages for a long time, ok I'm rambling and getting deeeep sorry lol