Blame it on late sunday mornings/afternoons where I have time to think but here goes....

In my life, I've spent a considerable time listening to friends who've had issues regarding relationships. I dont mind it at all and I'm happy I can help in some minute way.

However, I've always come away with a common thread of thought that explains why said relationship is self-destructive. I wont mention instances but I'd like to get the forum's views on this question.

What is/are the most important thing(s) in a relationship for you, and how strongly do you abide by it/them when you are in a relationship?

Think Wolfwoman has described it perfectly for me ............ honesty is very important for me, especially at the start of any relationship, so no one is confused as to what each of you want out the said relationship ........... always keep an element of fun too .......... so it doesn't slip into a 'routine' ........... having children i always make time for one another .............. I am so very honest .......... sometimes too honest but i see that as a positive ...........

Not speaking against anyone...

Honesty and communication are all well and good, but they depend (and vary) from person to person. That would mean that a person who lies based on how threatened they currently feel and those that cannot put their thoughts or feelings into words properly are doomed from the beginning?

In our world, and this one, two commodities are so rare that they are considered priceless - Trust and Respect.
The very reason why Relationships get into a "rut" is because there is a Lack of one of these in the equation.

If I had a penny for everytime I've heard the line "I'm sure he/she didnt mean it" when referring to a disrespectful statement made by their current crush, I wouldnt need to work for pay anymore.
Then when the same statement was made IN a relationship, It becomes an event nothing short of Armageddon.
the (most common) reasoning given is that they were "in a relationship" with the person and didnt expect it. Lack of respect is lack of respect regardless of what social boundary you place yourself into. What matters is your ability to withstand/tolerate/ignore it. Respect, like money, is earned and if your employer didnt pay you for work you'd call it slavery.

Trust is an odd monster as well. All living beings on this planet need to build it. Only humans have to do it more meticulously, mainly because of the factors involved in it.
It can be broken by nothing at all and ties into the concept respect pretty easily.

Often people forget about these base values in a relationship all too easily and then when the hand hits the face they wonder why they are suffering for it. Little things matter; Calling back, concern and consideration. They'll always be some time for a bit of fun but try to treat people like people and not prizes, conquests or property.

I agree, trust and respect are also very important, there's so many things that make a good relationship, that it's hard to break it down to just a couple of things. Respect should be unconditional, to a certain point. Respect is when you can truly accept someone for who they are, even if you disagree with something they believe in, and it is the opposite to how you are, you have to respect that that is who that person is. I think people get caught up in the 'who's right' scenario in relationships, when who says what is 'right' in the first place, it's personal oppinion.

Trust comes down to self esteem and confidence and security within each individual, unless there is an apparent reason not to. Though I would say that in this day and age, trust becomes a lot harder due to media and social changes. But I guess if you are with someone on a serious basis then you must like/know them for who they are.