I was in a crap and destructive relationship for too long, I knew it wasn't good for me yet it took ages to get out of it for all the usual reasons, fear of loneliness, how it would affect the children, financial and most importantly very low self confidence etc.

I'm now in one in which I feel we laid out to each other what it is we want from one another and can give to each other right from the start. It makes me happy most of the time and hopefully the man too!

Make the break for you both, but take with it something new. Think about what was wrong that you don't want in the future for yourself and apply that to anything new. Don't look at the break up as a loss, but as the start of something new. Learn to trust yourself and go for it woman! Love missnopants.x

How do you put images on here? I could show you!

DeepThroatH, he sounds like a really boring shitter who, if you stay with him, will eventually drag you down. If it's so crap after two months then you really have no future whatsoever. Do him and yourself a favour and ditch him. Then go out with me instead.

Hope this helps.

Hi DeepthroatH

Here's my 2 cents worth, as you've made points I'll respond with points:

1. No drive or ambition. Same job (on a factory line) for 7 years, now i am saying NOTHING against that but he doesnt want to progress or change to a better position or anything, and i am very driven when it comes to my career.

Personally I don't think this is a good thing, if you're looking to invest £3k per year on an ISA (for example) and he's looking to pay for his next drink I'd question how you'd fit in with his "mates". Although that's definitely not unnecessarily true!


2. No enthusiasm for anything. Ever.

Maybe he's just relaxed? (I'm being hopeful, maybe he's not interested in a serious relationship with you and just looking for some fun?)


3. Flirting with women on the internet (it isnt hypocrisy, i am just chatting generally)

See point 2! Sounds like he's having fun while you're around and waiting for something "better".


4. No money ever.

That shouldn't matter. (Idealistic maybe!)


5. We have been together 2 months and fallen out to the point of splitting up twice.

Sounds like you 2 have the perfect relationship (Sorry for the sarcasm!)


6. Doesnt ever want to go on holiday.

That's probably due to your point 4, even if you paid he probably wouldn't feel comfortable.


7. Makes me feel like i need to be something i am not (He is a punk (as in has a mohawk and wears patches etc) and i am not so much).

Be yourself no matter what, you'll only wake up one day thinking "hey this isn't me" and regret it anyway!


8. Dont feel like i am enough for him.

Most of the above has been speculation, but judging from points 1, 2, 3, 5 & 7 I'd say you're more than good enough for him.


With regards to the rest of your post, people are either compatible or they aren't, you never really know anyone (in a relationship sense) until you spend time with them. You've given it 2 months and things aren't right, so, as you say, you should end it. Who knows, the next relationship may be worse - but unless you keep following the rainbow you won't find the pot of gold at the end.

Anyway, that's my 2 cents finished... although if you find his mohawk that sexy you could always have a casual thing with him until you find the next person to "try on".

u4ea - thank you for your 2 cents worth, well worth reading!

I think, what i need to do, is just take it easy, see what happens (though i am not the kind of person who can do that so easily, i like to make plans and know where i stand - basically high maintenance ) and where-ever it takes me, thats fine.

Or at least until Moose gets his act together and comes and takes me out for a drink.

hope you get it sorted soon hun *hugs*

Tel, i always have barriers up. Always, thats just me. It takes a long time for any man (and friend) to get past those barriers and see my emotional/calm/sensitive side. I dont know why this is, and i have had people throw all sorts of ideas at me, but at the end of the day, i just dont like letting people in. It hurts too much when they do get in and it doesnt work.

God i am really laying this all out in the open arent i? I am a psycho!

One thing that comes to my mind is that maybe you are worried how he will react, perhaps hurting his feelings. I haven't even read your profile but judging from what I have seen on this sounds like you are a very caring person. Try not to worry how he is going to be or how he will react unless he gets aggressive. You have to do what you feel is right.

There are ways of breaking it of with someone one way is to send a text, this can be useful as you neither see or hear the person you are breaking it off with. Straight after sending him one you could then delete and block,I know this sounds harsh but for both your sakes if you are not happy then this is just one solution.

Now I am going to throw the spanner in the works.

If he is not motivated to do anything it may just be that he needs some encouragement, someone to show or perhaps lead him to excitement. I know this is normally something that men usually need to lead on but both your personalities are somewhat different.

You may already be used to having a relationship that was once fun but he may not have. I hope this all makes sense. Before I carry on, you definitely do not sound like you are psycho but do sound like someone near the end of her tether because she does not know what to do for the best or what she really wants. He might be content on his life and so therefore may not feel competitive like you, some people are just happy to earn a wage and get by with what they have others are never and so lose sight of everything that matters just to pursue a career for themselves.

Try coming up with different ideas, sometimes relationships may call for more compromising so may feel like harder work but really sounds like you have made your mind up, if so use texts or internet or speak with him on the mobile, try not to worry how he is going to be as he will find someone else as he found you.

Hope all this helps

Good luck.

Thank you for your comments Snoopy - i do see exactly where your coming from, and yes, maybe he does need some excitement, and i know i bring that to him, but i need some too, and sometimes it can be so exhausting doing all the leg work.

I know i am emotionally a very high maintenance girl, but if you can stick it out, the rewards are brilliant. I do think of others in lots of ways, if i see something i think you will like, i will buy you it, i will run you a bath when you have had a day at work and are stressed out, will make you a nice meal if you arent feeling up to cooking etc. All i ask in return is reassurance, and emotional support.



Too much to ask?

Apparently for him it is.
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