and dream we must.
love is an infinite thing - the only quantifying factor is how we treat it.
i agree with most of the practical and very well thought out things said here. however that's what my brain thinks.

my heart - now that's another matter.
why do people like us tend to give an organ that pumps and purifies blood all day, 365 days a year a persona?
because the brain is the one with the logic, but the soul/heart/inner voice (tiny or a whole bleedin' orchestra of 'em) is far from logical. it believes that true love lasts forever and 20 or 30 year old relationships work as well as they did when they first started out.

in some, such as louby, the heart is stronger beyond all belief - it still believes that true love exists, and they continue to throw themselves again and again against other hearts in the hope that they will catch them.

in some, previous scars from life - romantic or otherwise - give their brain, the logical one, a more pivotal role in their thinking. they feel such is the way of life and people move on. that love is fleeting and to hold on to one as best as one can is enough.

truth be told people - love is not complicated in the least bit. people make it complicated. but you cant take people out of it - so the only way to make it simpler is to draw more of them in.
this a philosphical point, however a real message in the midst that is logical.

personally, i let my heart govern things it's meant to, and my brain what it has to.

My parents both met when they were 15 and had 3 children by the time they were twenty..they celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary last christmas..and I'm sure there were a lot of people at that celebration that doubted they would last a couple of years..

Heres to true love

Heres to true love [/quote]

Here Here !!

Hi there, When i married I was married for life (or at least that is what I thought at the time). I never thought that i would divorce. it broke my heart. He was such a nasty piece of work! javascript:emoticon('')
Crying or Very sad

Now i have found that its MEN who dont want long term relationships - sepite them saying they do! My last partner (we were both divorced and we both wanted a new long term partner) lasted 4 months and within that time he changed and lied just as my ex-husband did. I was the giver yet again and he was the taker. However, this time i woke up and ended it before it had gone on for too long.

Im not nasty or bitter - i dont brand all men the same.

I just wish there was a nice, caring, sharing guy out there for me who wants an HONEST long term relationship.

sorry, forgot whch of you said this but I wonder if that's true.....

Merseygal, sounds like you keep getting attracted to the same sort of guy and then get surprised that they turn out to be...the same sort of guy.....if what you're doing doesn't work, change what you do.....sorry if that sounds harsh and I know (I KNOW) it's not as easy as that, but maybe oyu need ot start filtering out someone who ticks the boxes you usually tick....

I know I'm attracted to strong independent women, but I also want to care for someone......so this hasn't worked out too well in the past.....I'm hoping this can change.

Just like Merseygal, i married when i was 21 and was in it for life. Boy did i fight to keep that marriage going, through emotional abuse, infidelity and his insecurity. In the end when i had become a mere mouse of a girl i finally had the courage, with the backing of my family, to end it all. Only when my mum saw me after a couple of years did she say my god, i wish i'd told you to end it years ago.

My mum and step dad have been together for 30 yrs this Sept, and yes they've had ups and downs but they work their way through it, mainly by my dad being quiet when mum goes off on one!!! Then its all over within a couple of hours and everyone can go back to normal.

"Merseygal, sounds like you keep getting attracted to the same sort of guy and then get surprised that they turn out to be...the same sort of guy.....if what you're doing doesn't work, change what you do.....sorry if that sounds harsh and I know (I KNOW) it's not as easy as that, but maybe oyu need ot start filtering out someone who ticks the boxes you usually tick....

I know I'm attracted to strong independent women, but I also want to care for someone......so this hasn't worked out too well in the past.....I'm hoping this can change."
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Thanks olblueeyes, for the above, maybe your'e right, im looking for all the right boxes that have been ticked! a friend actually said that to me recently re ticked boxes. (maybe you and I should get together! lol.) I'm a little stronger since i have gotten through all the mess that life's thrown at me over the years (i was married for over 25 years with all the abuse he gave me till i was strong enough to walk away) but i still want and need a 'cuddle', someone to chill out with etc. someone who respects me. I'm not a nasty person. I havent told my children not to marry - its their choice and i hope they find their life partner.

Your being honestt Gav and that will mean more to people than you think

And hello and welcome to the forums