Hi all!

Well i had a girlfriend three years ago and the relationship seemed to be near enough perfect but then one day she just disappeared out of my life without saying a word. If i was in a relationship and i was told she didn't want to know me anymore i can handle that but not knowing at all really REALLY gets to me.

After a while i tried using dating sites like these and did get close to another couple of women (not at the same time!) and even tho they said they really liked me (one even said she loved me), I have found the same thing has happened since.

I am worried that because of this happening to me not once but three times that it might affect me when i do start chatting to someone nice and i may even get paranoid or even posessive which is something i've NEVER done before.

How can you move on in your life if you don't have the answers you feel you need to move on?

Hope all this makes sense ;o) and thank you all for taking the time to read this.

Phil XxX

hi phil....just sharing your experience and venting a little bit of your anger should help you come to terms with your situation but i think its important that anything new should start with a clean slate, it wouldnt be fair otherwise.
It is crap that youve been dealt a bad hand three times but have faith in yourself...it'll all come good in the end..but its never easy...love hurts...

all the best

moved from dating, deleted duplicated post as this one has replies.
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Thanks for that Francey
It hadn't occured to me that it would be unfair on thinking of starting a new relationship before i had gotten over what had happened to me before.

I think what my problem was is that i didn't KNOW whether i had gotten over it as i did often think about her but now it's not the same feelings as before.

I think what got to me the most was never knowing whether it was me who did wrong or whether it was something to do with her and i ended up getting consumed by it.
I think over time i have realised that there is nothing i can do about it anyway and will never get the answers i felt i needed and have now decided to start a complete fresh as you have mentioned yourself.

Thanks again for your advice.

As one of the elders on here and have been married twice and lived with someone for 5 yrs, I think I can relate about wondering if its me.....everyone kept saying my standards were too high cause I didnt want anyone that drank alot or did any drugs..welll, I know I am fine with my standards now but it took me a very long time to come to that and yes have wondered also why some men would go out with me several times and dissappear...you will find your true love out there and will fill complete..move on cause you will probably never find the answer about her and you will keep second guessin about yourself and then the self esteem goes to hell...even if it was you there will be someone that loves you for who you are and will have the guts and love enough to tell you if she doesnt like something..good luck in your endeavors

I agree that it was heartless to not give any kinda reason. It obviously shows no interest in the relationship cos if she had issues that needed to be addressed and she cared about the relationship surely she would have talked about it? well i suppose its better to be rid of anyone like that!
My story is a little different but ive experienced one of the most devastating breakups possible. I'd been with my girlfriend for years and i had a kid with her and i really didnt think it could be more perfect but what goes up comes down. at a party we were at, she shagged my mate in the house when i was asleep in the same house and then insisted to be best mates with him afterwards. we tried to make it work but his constant presence sent me crazy so i walked out and now they are together and i am constantly being visited by the police for apparent harrassement (which is false accusations btw). This has really affected me mentally and i dont think i'll fully recover from it but i just hope i can find someone i wont have to worry about 24/7 (good luck to me)

Oh thats awful.... sorry to hear it, but you will get over it all eventually, it will just take time.

Good luck

I have got over it (i think). Sometimes i will pass her house and feel strong anger because i cant see my daughter either. but i got over my ex with, im ashamed to say, alcohol. stupid way of doing it but it works for me obviously for anyone who needs advice on moving on dont do that. Time and keeping busy is the best way!

By the way crying in front of her while begging her to come back to you might bring her back. Apparantly crying appeals to a womans maternal instincts.