In the rush for sexual eqaulity we have made a lot of progress but y'know there are still some things that need addressing.

Personaly I think there hasn't been enough done to broadcast the fact that if you are a man and you cry it doesn't mean you lose any masculine qualitys.

As a guy who has a pre-dipostion to where is heart on his sleeve I do tend to cry more than the avaerge guy.

In my experence it's still not except near as much as when you see a female shed a tear.

Do you think it's okay for a man to cry?

I would be intrested to hear from people who have an opposite view point from me NOT to bash them but out of intrest as to why they think it's not okay for a grown man to weep.

Look foward to your replies

I think its ok for a bloke to cry, just not in public. Not because people will see it as 'wussy' or anything, just because it should be a personal outpouring of emotion, not to be broadcast to the world.

I've cried a few times in the past, but I keep it to myself. Not out of a desire to be seen as strong, but simply because I want to keep those moments to myself. Share my happiness and keep my burden to myself, if you like.

What I don't understand is people crying over football. Yes it brings out strong emotions in me, but I haven't wept any time the Albion have been relegated. And John Terry...yeah, you lost. You slipped. It happens. No need to flood Russia. Its a game, get over it.
_________________

I remeber being 11 and watching England get kicked out in Italia 90 I cried then....but I suppose that doesn't count

I think that an important art of being a human being is being able to control your emotions. Children cry because they haven't learnt how to do this yet, but if you can suppress and control your feelings in any given situation it will help you greatly throughout life, be it nerves at a job interview, or being upset around others. People tend to feel what the other people around them are feeling, so if I take the job interview scenario, if you can control your nerves and settle into a good relaxed interview, and your interviewer will also tend to be relaxed, unless they have anxiety issues of their own, in which case this will be detrimental to your emotional state in the interview! It boils down to leaning on others. Sure its ok to turn to friend or partner for emotional support every once in a while, just not all the time. People don't like being leaned on by other people! Its an undesireable quality in a person if you need emotional crutches all the time! In the end, if you lean too much on people you will get hurt more either way: They will disown you, or take advantage of you.

On the topic of the whole sexual equality issue, my belief is that male and female are both very different being psychologically, and for this reason it's impractical to apply sexual equality to every scenario. Infact my belief is that in womens struggle for sexual equality they have actually begun to destroy the very thing they desire, and that is MEN! Too many men grow up wrapped in cotton wool nowadays because of sexual equality and it is detremental to them emotionally. You hear it all the time; women who say they would like a "nice guy", but thats not attractive, and attraction is based on a model of a mans personality and physique built up over thousands of years of evolution in search of a good mate. What is attractive is a man who can face any emotional situation without losing control.

Every emotional situation involving a man and a woman in a relationship boils down to attraction in my opinion, and as soon as you realise what pushes the opposite sex' buttons, the better your life will be.

I know that this is a bit controvertial, but it's my understanding and view of the world as it is, take it or leave it.

See it depends if you see crying as losing control which I don't and also believe supression of emotions can be far more harmful in the long term.

I think it's true that you have to have to mesure your emtional displays at times because it's not always the right time to be upset in certain circumstances. However people are different in how they display how they feel some find it easy not to cry and some need to shed a tear because it's part of how they cope with things.

My main bone to pick is if we need to get rid of dead sterotypes for women then we can do the same for men.

I also think if someone thinks less of you or thinks you are weak because you have cried in front of them then it could be they are more afraid of a crying themselves.

Well I'm not out right saying crying is losing control all the time. Obviously there is a time and a place! What I mean in my post is excessively requiring others support emotionally. On your own it's up to you how you deal with your emotions! Some play sport, some play guitar, some just enjoy a good old sob to a movie they can identify with. All these things are venting emotions in different ways which avoids letting things build up as you say (didn't mean it to come accross like that in my last post!)

Whilst I do agree with you James, that every woman is an individual, it is undeniable that through evolution, there are certain qualities women look for in a man that are universal (Albeit with some variations here and there) which no ammount of social conditioning or deep thought can alter. It's just part of being human!

I wouldn't think less of a friend if they turned to me for emotional support in a time of need. What they would think of me is none of my business! If somebody does think less of you when you turn to them, they would surely have to be made of ice and lack any empathy! But I'll reiterate, consistantly spilling your emotions to people close to you is a very big sign of weakness. There is a harsh saying that goes "Don't make your problems my problems".

Dependance on someone else isn't good I am completely with you on that and I also think there are traditional qualities that both sexes look for in each other that an otherwise polite scoiety would rather not aknowledge.

It's also a fact that feminists are actuley more likely to believe in romance and look for it but then the word feminist has been demonised in the media.

I just really wanted to put across the fact that emtional stength isn't always displayed in one particular way.

If crying gets you over something quicker and with the least harm to me that's a far better option than botling something up for later only for it to reemerge as something far more damaging later i.e aggresion.

Well James, that depends on the person, and if crying helps you feel better than anything else after an emotional time in your life, then do it! Each to his own afterall!

The whole feminist thing boils down to something I posted else where: "Theres a difference between what people think they want, and what would truly fulfil them!"

Kind of offtopic: there are 13 stories of bad news for every good story in the media: do you believe that if you read alot of media, you will inevitably develop a negative attitude over time?

I warned you from the start, my points of view are extreme and controvertial, but it makes for some great conversation!

Hey disagreement isn't deadly Chris and infact I agree with you on a lot more than you think

Anyhow how can you have a decent conversation if everyone agreed right

Of course it's ok to for men to cry...hell if I was a man I'd cry just for the fact that I was a guy ha ha just kidding. No seriously, yeh it's good if a man cries and lets their emotions out instead of keeping everything locked up inside. I think a lot of women can find that attractive in a way, the sensitive side. And well, others, can feel like they are not protected enough cus the man is showing signs of weakness. Therefore if you're a guy that cries it's good to find a sensitive female that appriciates the softer side of the male nature.

I hardly ever cry, i have done when i have done my best for a situation and it doesn't work out, thats mainly tears of frustration. one of the main things about the stigma of men crying is that many men like to portray this image of themselves as being macho and that they dont care. It is something that the media taps into quite a lot.

Personally i think its ok for me to cry when i want and how i want, as i said i cry when i need to, not when others are ok with it. As far as men being sensitive goes, i think that depends an awful lot on the types of male role models in your life during childhood and what kinds of emotional behavior is encouraged and discouraged at home.

i only cry when i dont get a shag on the first date