getting back to 'normal' after something like that always takes time, its normal to be feeling fine and then have ur world fall down, it doesnt mean theres anything wrong or ur not getting better, its ment to take years. so long as you carry on taking more steps forward than you do back. hope u feel back on form soon and keep feeling stronger each day.

hugs. x
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See how the Stars shine when you smile.

i think trace that at first you were all full of anger and resentment for your ex and that led you to a "quiet place" a place where you could ignore your hurt and your moritification to a point... a limbo if you like. you've been in that limbo for a while now... only peeking out every so often and feeling that old anger and you weren't ready for it so you submerged yourself back into limbo for another while. i think at last, you are ready to come out of there and be yourself again. although it will take some time, some patience and some very understanding friends. you will get there. just don't let the bitterness creep up on you. you no longer need the limbo to deal with reality and i am happy for you. it means you are moving on. you were mourning. and everyone is entitled to a mourning period. i once went to the supermarket in my pyjamas to do the shopping and bought all sorts of wierd things... i was in limbo too for a bit. the good thing is that you now realise that your former life is no longer part of you. it's part of your past. not your present. so let it go. let it float away and feel secure in the knowledge that you are moving upwards and onwards and will be you again soon.

i know this might sound corny to the last but try it......

for five minutes every day, be it morning, afternoon, evening or night..... sit in front of a mirror, look into your own eyes and tell yourself.... i am better than this. i don't need resentment as a bedfellow. i will move on and feel better within myself. i will grow and learn from my experience and i will not hold any bitterness in my heart.
and then visualize your resentment and anger as a balloon.... you are holding the string of it in your hand...... open your hand and see the balloon rise up and up and up and slowly day after day... you won't see the balloon anymore. it'll be gone.

hope you feel better. and don't worry about ranting and raving. we are all friends here.

sssshhhhh Mandy ... you know!, you know ME better than i know myself.. Thankyou so much for putting things so into perspective. You are right in everything you have said. Today has been the first time i have managed to not cry. I actually managed to breath in the crisp fresh air, held my head high and i walked. Forward of course. Today! a new day!. And tomorrow who knows what tomorrow brings?? But i know this is the way to go forward.

I have closed the final chapter of the book! finally! and yes the tears poured! But that is what happens in "Romance Novels"... not all end with the HAPPY ENDING. Now time to throw away those tissues and start a new book and i will look forward to changing the pages and enjoy the exciting new chapters that lay ahead!
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xxTxx

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wooohoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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xxTxx

xx Moderator xx




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Go to a club or something, you are beautiful its his loss.

Learn, grow, change: In the beginning, I never thought that I would make it. Now I am only six months down the road alone with my cat and dog but I am already feeling better. I’ve had tough times, but overall I’m great! You will make it without him! Maybe it's hard to go through those negative emotions, but it's worth it to realise how strong you really are. One day you will look back and see how strong you have become. Hang in there -- it will all be okay!"
My wife wanted to go back to her first husband last year (after 14 years) but changed her mind. I accepted this, now she's run off with another woman.
It took the demise of the washing machine to act as a catalyst for all my pent up misery and I felt I couldn't survive at all.
But hey, i got the washing machine fixed and took control of my life.
I'm now living in the tiniest flat imaginable, but I've got a new life and new aspirations. I didn't work at it, it just happened
It still hurts, but it's becoming more remote.
I wish you nothing but happiness and all the very best.

24yrs thats a long time. sorry your feeling down time is the gratest healer and 12 months isn't actually that long for the amount of time you were together. hopefully time to yourself will do you good time to reflect on it all and get things clearer in your head. hope your feeling better soon x

I divorced my ex 13 years ago so i know exactly how you feel trace, i was given advice at the time by a female friend and it turned out to be true, you will feel pain for about 2 years, anger for the next couple of years and then finally you will feel nothing at all for your ex, its a long road but once you get to the no feelings bit its worth it. i get on ok with my ex these days but i cant even imagine now that i ever had feelings for her. time heals as they say. only downer is divorce has changed me, i cant see me ever getting married again which is a bit sad . life's full of knockbacks trace but youve got to keep moving forward, the old sayings true "if it dont kill you it will make you stronger" xxx