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Home >> Love & Relationships >> Is there any Genuine True Gentlemen
28.10.2007, 14:17 quote
I agree with you in part there averagemale re opening doors whoever it is, simply out of politeness. And I also agree that if a woman expects a man to buy her a drink at the bar just cuz she batted her baby blues at you, if I were a bloke I'd be inclined to tell her where to stick it....but, generally speaking I am a bit old fashioned and think that men should be men and women should be women - in certain cirumstances!! like I love a man to buy me flowers or change a lightbulb for me and equally I like to treat a man special like iron his shirts and all. Saying that, it does depend on who's better at doing what and who needs what doing for them - eg when I was married it was me really that did things like put up shelves and change fuses whereas my hubby was a chef by trade and he cooked dinner - and went to the supermarket - mostly. Finding a balance I guess....I just don't necessarily agree that men and women will (or should) ever be truly equal. (waiting for the flame mail now!!).
08.02.2008, 23:21 quote
| Bliss23 wrote: |
only if you got a whip.   |
oops, ..do i have to go back to that shop again? knew i forgot something
11.02.2008, 01:13 quote
| maggiex35 wrote: |
I don't know if I'd want a "gentleman". I want a man who can hold a conversation, make me laugh till my ribs hurt and wants to be a gordon ramsay in the kitchen and a devil in the bedroom.
 |
i can swear and throw things at you in the kitchen if thats what you want ? lol
18.02.2008, 12:25 quote
| maggiex35 wrote: |
| I don't know if I'd want a "gentleman". |
Don't worry, you probably won't find one anyway, they are a dying breed.
According to Darkhorses Digest of Distinguished Deeds (Volume 3, Gentlemanly Behaviour), a gentleman is someone who:
i) .......when walking along a pavement with a lady, will walk on the traffic side of the pedestrian walkway, in order to protect his woman from (amongst other things) splashes of water from passing traffic and flailing horsewhips). Exceptions to this rule are listed on page 45, paragraph b and include "....in somewhat dubious districts a gentleman may walk on the off-side, in order to protect his woman from trench-coated genitalia exposers......"
In addition, I noticed on Page 317 (paragraph f), there was an entry that alluded to the fact that a gentleman instinctively knows the difference between when to open a door to allow a lady to enter (or leave) premises first, and when to open the door and enter first and hold the door open for her. Apparently a list of the difference circumstances is to be found in the appendix of this volume, but I am unable to list them as that part of the book is defaced with personal notations from the previous owner of the book.
Personally, I think a gentleman should never:
a) when meeting a lady for the first time, especially when she has agreed to meet him at a train station, never stick his tongue down her throat without clear invitation to do so, and
b) when entering the apartments of afore-mentioned lady and told to 'make oneself comfortable', not to strip and parade oneself in ones under garments.
Edit: Darkhorses Digest of Distinguished Deeds (Volume 3, Gentlemanly Behaviour) is a pocket edition, although at 576 pages (including Appendices) it is quite bulky. Ladies should therefore note that when meeting a gentleman for the first time that the size of the bulge in the trouser area may not not be a direct indiction of level of attraction the gentleman feels towards you.
18.02.2008, 12:54 quote
Sometimes a gentleman can be nice to have around. One who is happy to take the bins out, or empty the dishwasher, or run you a bath, or like Stu says hold doors open and walk on the road side of the pavement. But i think we also want a bit of rough too, especially in the bedroom. I don't want a man to ask me if he can cum, or who folds his clothes up neatly before ravishing me.
I think a bit of both would be nice
18.02.2008, 14:00 quote
| BexBex wrote: |
| or who folds his clothes up neatly before ravishing me.
|
Eh??? You mean you're supposed to take your clothes before ravishing someone?
/* logs in to WHSmith web site to look for relevant books and learning material */
20.02.2008, 18:43 quote
| silverbullet318 wrote: |
| it can all come down to the girl as well. my last relationship was finished because i treated her too well???? work that out!!! sometimes they just expect the bad guy to be evryone and when some of us turn out to be good guys they just run a mile. |
Yeah... but there's a difference between being a good guy and being a doormat. I think most blokes who call themselves nice guys are too sickeningly nice and that's what women don't like. They run a mile because blokes who act like that can be very stifling, cloying, and overly intense. You've got to get the nice guy/bastard balance right.
29.02.2008, 22:05 quote
niceness is a turnoff... if they are too nice and treat you too well or pander to you too much its not sexy!
guys have to have a bit of meanness.. it keeps it interesting and a bit of old fashioned sexual sparring is always good!
29.02.2008, 22:21 quote
| sadie123 wrote: |
| niceness is a turnoff... if they are too nice and treat you too well or pander to you too much its not sexy!
guys have to have a bit of meanness.. it keeps it interesting and a bit of old fashioned sexual sparring is always good! |
see i dont get that at all, ...i could treat someone like a complete cunt very easily as its in my nature but if i want to be with someone i feel i have to make an effort and show some respect. I'm certainly no angel by a long chalk but when im with a woman the old fashioned morals drilled into me as a kid takes over and i have to be nice.
women who like meaness pretty much deserve all they get, ...then go crying to their mates they are being treated like shit. marry em let em get on with it
01.03.2008, 11:03 quote
i dont mean like evil men, but being too nice and pandering to girls isnt good... it just gets boring! Respect is essential i just like guys who treat you as an equal instead of as a sub species that has to be looked after
01.03.2008, 11:22 quote
| cottoneyedjoe wrote: |
|
women who like meaness pretty much deserve all they get, ...then go crying to their mates they are being treated like shit. marry em let em get on with it |
Yeah but the "nice guys" don't seem to understand that there's a difference between just being an utter arsehole and being a proper bloke with a bit of an edge. They think it's one of two extremes, either really really nice, or an utter arsehole. That's not right, the trick is getting a balance.
I fully believe that 99% of women want proper men... men who act like men, by which I mean a man who is slightly (not overly) dominant, who can take control and make decisions. They want a bloke who says, "Right, we're doing this." Not a bloke who goes, "Oooh, let's do whatever you want dear, what would you like to do, do you want to do this or that, it's your choice, I'll do whatever you want to do."
The "nice guys" often don't realise that by being at a woman's beck and call, jumping when she says jump, etc, they are acting in a way which women always call "too nice" - that's when you get the, "I like you as a friend"... line because such blokes tend to act like one of her female friends, NOT as prospective relationship material.
Like I said, it's a matter of balance. Act like a man who she will find sexually attractive and want to be with, not like one of her mates. It's perfectly possibly to be a proper bloke, and to have an edge and a bit of unpredictability, without going over the top and being a complete prick.
01.03.2008, 12:08 quote
| annmarie5988 wrote: |
| yeah know what you mean Sadie ............ women tend to very independant these days .......... not like your Mum's or Grandparents, where the men thught it was there place to sort of look after there women ......... Although saying that it is nice sometimes when a man can be a man |
your choice of words there Annmarie are quite interesting as although you want to be independent and not old fashioned, you actually still equate that type of male behaviour as 'being a man'. Not that this is a critisism but you see where men are often lead to beleive one thing but told another and it leads to all sorts of confusion in male female relationships.
This talk of being mean, being nice and finding the right balance is horseshit in my opinion. You always have to be true to yourself, if you arnt being true to yourself in a relationship and simply being who you are then that relationship might well just be based on lies. I will always strive to be myself, i dont care really if people think bad of me for it, but i wont pander to stereotypes of what any woman thinks/wants a man to/should be, you take me as you find me or else you dont take me at all. It is difficult to find somebody who can accept that sometimes because personality can be so diverse.
Traditional stereotyped gender roles are still so influential in life and sometimes interfere with what people want because people want to be accepted so badly by others and avoid critisism. I dont want to have to feel i have to treat somebody a little bit mean in order to keep them interested. That, to me, would be a relationship that never gained any true depth because the constant 'acting' mean or nice.
I want to point out that this isnt a post aimed at Annmarie because she is cool but i always pick up on this thing women say about "a man being a man", it kind of leaves me thinking that women that say that want a bastard male but only when it suits them and a more traditional man to look after them at other times. Maybe what those women need is two male lovers, one who will treat them like a princess and another who will treat them like shit, then they wont be so pissed off when Mr Bastard does his stuff?
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