Sounds like you need to find someone who treats you with a lot more respect than that. If he loved you then he wouldn’t have told you he didn’t find you attractive anymore. Dump him and get yourself a new man.

Getting drunk and blowing strangers in bathrooms isn’t going to help you self esteem much either so you may want to cut back on the vodka intake love.

Just out of curiosity, ..why does your profile say you are a lesbian?

sorry just wanting to see how this one works and have some fun, best of fun to you all.

my opinion is you kissed the other guy, and you gave another guy a bj then told your partner cos you want him to see that other men find you attractive and they do desire you, and maybe that would spark some interest in your boyfriend? the thing is if you have a 3 some its not gonna make your realtionship better long term because he has already told you, he doesnt find you attractive anymore, you can take a break, thats not gonna solve it, the problem doesnt magically go away when you take a break. it may prolong the length of the relationship a little longer, but it certainly doesnt save it, not in my experience anyway. what you need to do is get out of this way of thinking that 'you cant be happy without him' thats being codependent and its not good for your own self esteem, which you mentioned you have issues with.
personally if a partner told me she didnt find me attractive anymore id say that pretty much signified the end of the relationship, it would be like making love to a lump of cold beef in bed after that. the way id view it, is if i really loved that person i would be really hurt and upset, but inside of myself id know that i was happy before i met that person and id be able to find happiness after i left that person. it just takes time. in answer to your initial question, based upon what you have written, i dont think you are a horrible person, you are having trouble coming to terms with some very strong emotions. i hope you find out the right way for you, and stay off the pills.

Ok.
He was in the wrong to tell you aren't attractive to him.


But it also seems like you can't be very serious about him if you went off and gave a BJ to another guy.

That's just as bad.
Either way, it won't last long because of both of those things.

Sorry.

if he is being a shit saying hurtful things and you are getting your rocks off elsewhere and you both are posting on forums asking for advice, I think you both know what the answer is!!!