interesting theory.

but then - why do women tend to see the providers with a vague disinterest in the romance department and the lover?
and what exactly do you mean by "building attraction" ?

I'm not sure that this is exclusively down to how women think.
I think it's down to general human psychology.
Things that are hard to obtain become more atractive - the scarcity principle.
A nurturing provider puts himself into a situation where he has qualified himself as and viable, workable and easy to obtain commodity.
The bad boy lover seems more dangerous, more unstable and a rarer beastie altogether.
Building attraction (something I'm rubbish at) is simply making someone want to go to bed with you. Being genteel isn't going to do that!