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29.07.2008, 16:05 quote

hayleylouise
hayleylouise Joined: 27 Jul 2008 Posts: 8 Location: United Kingdom, England, Cheshire
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Hayyy =)

I don't really know where you are with this topic... But just wanted to comment on the overall Question..


I've only ever been with big guys..

Its not anything to be bothered about and if someone was to turn you down because of it they're obviously just very vein..

I've always felt really safe with someone bigger than me .. Just overall generally attracted to bigger men maybes..

:\

Anyyywhoooo's

Have a nice evening all x Smile

 

29.07.2008, 16:32 quote

rocketgirl
rocketgirl Joined: 17 Jun 2008 Posts: 1798 Location: United Kingdom, England, Hampshire
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"Lack of confidence is a huge turn-off and women can pick up on it like sharks can smell blood in water. So while they're saying 'oh I really like a man with a bit of meat on him' they probably mean it, and they really do like you; they just don't find you attractive in a sexual way. You're nice, cuddly and probably remind them of their dad (yes, he went there) but they're highly unlikely to whisk you off your feet (well, not in Earth's gravity anyway)".

Spot on. I've known some really chubby chaps with heaps of self-confidence who I have been very attracted to. Lack of self-confidence, whatever a person's size, really does put me off.
But shyness can be quite cute, which is something else again...
Wink

 

29.07.2008, 17:04 quote

jeggae

rocketgirl wrote:
"Lack of confidence is a huge turn-off and women can pick up on it like sharks can smell blood in water. So while they're saying 'oh I really like a man with a bit of meat on him' they probably mean it, and they really do like you; they just don't find you attractive in a sexual way. You're nice, cuddly and probably remind them of their dad (yes, he went there) but they're highly unlikely to whisk you off your feet (well, not in Earth's gravity anyway)".

Spot on. I've known some really chubby chaps with heaps of self-confidence who I have been very attracted to. Lack of self-confidence, whatever a person's size, really does put me off.
But shyness can be quite cute, which is something else again...
Wink


Maybe your loss Alice.
Low confidence can be fairly debilitating almost a disability, Some bad cases may need professional help and can cause depression even suicide. I've seen bad cases.

Some women look down on men that lack confidence, and seem to think they should just pull themselves together. But its not always that easy.

But we can only be attracted to who we are attracted to.

Personally I dont really have low confidence as such, I'm just a bit mixed up. But am a bit surprised with some women's attitudes towards me who suspect I have low confidence.

Women can be hard Confused Rolling Eyes Wink Laughing

 

29.07.2008, 17:53 quote

rocketgirl
rocketgirl Joined: 17 Jun 2008 Posts: 1798 Location: United Kingdom, England, Hampshire
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I was really meaning before getting to know someone. Like on the forums, online etc. If the only part of a person's personality that shines through from the first moment is lack of self-confidence, it can be really hard work to get past that, and unless there is something else that stands out as worth the effort, I dont think it is.
First impressions last. So the saying goes.
I think to be honest, when I say "lack of self-confidence" what I really mean is lack of self-awareness and/or negativity about self.
which isnt really self-confidence as such at all.
A person can be confident enough to know and voice their own imperfections without putting themselves down and being pessimistic about it.

Yes I agree, lack of self-confidence can be very debilitating, but in that case, is that person really ready to embark on a new relationship? It would be doomed to failure if you ask me, the other person from day one their job would be to prop up and bolster the other person. Not a healthy start for either person concerned.
So from that point of view, no I dont think it is my loss, I see that as a lucky escape.
Sorry that sounds harsh, I myself am not in a good place to be thinking about a new relationship, which is why I am just here for the forums until I feel that I have something good and positive to offer anyone. (if at all).[/list]

 

29.07.2008, 19:00 quote

eda85

Exactly. If you don't like/love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to?

 

29.07.2008, 19:15 quote

jeggae

eda85 wrote:
Exactly. If you don't like/love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to?


What are you basing that on mate?

 

29.07.2008, 19:23 quote

jeggae

rocketgirl wrote:
I was really meaning before getting to know someone. Like on the forums, online etc. If the only part of a person's personality that shines through from the first moment is lack of self-confidence, it can be really hard work to get past that, and unless there is something else that stands out as worth the effort, I dont think it is.
First impressions last. So the saying goes.
I think to be honest, when I say "lack of self-confidence" what I really mean is lack of self-awareness and/or negativity about self.
which isnt really self-confidence as such at all.
A person can be confident enough to know and voice their own imperfections without putting themselves down and being pessimistic about it.

Yes I agree, lack of self-confidence can be very debilitating, but in that case, is that person really ready to embark on a new relationship? It would be doomed to failure if you ask me, the other person from day one their job would be to prop up and bolster the other person. Not a healthy start for either person concerned.
So from that point of view, no I dont think it is my loss, I see that as a lucky escape.
Sorry that sounds harsh, I myself am not in a good place to be thinking about a new relationship, which is why I am just here for the forums until I feel that I have something good and positive to offer anyone. (if at all).[/list]


Maybe confidence is something else that is probably more of a problem to women then men? Not sure many men would discard a women because she lacked a bit of confidence.

Maybe its a base instinct of women?

 

29.07.2008, 19:52 quote

rocketgirl
rocketgirl Joined: 17 Jun 2008 Posts: 1798 Location: United Kingdom, England, Hampshire
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Maybe. I've never believed the sexes are equal.
Men are the protectors, and all that jazz.
A man is more likely to be attracted to the female wallflower, the male wallflower wont get noticed, or taken seriously/given a chance?

 

29.07.2008, 19:54 quote

CMISO
CMISO Joined: 18 Jun 2007 Posts: 2073 Location: United Kingdom, England, Lincolnshire
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rocketgirl wrote:
Maybe. I've never believed the sexes are equal.
Men are the protectors, and all that jazz.


Damn, I wanted Choochi0 to protect me. Laughing
_________________

 

31.07.2008, 00:01 quote

choochi0
choochi0 Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 4562 Location: United Kingdom, England, Sussex
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CMISO wrote:
rocketgirl wrote:
Maybe. I've never believed the sexes are equal.
Men are the protectors, and all that jazz.


Damn, I wanted Choochi0 to protect me. Laughing


And what is it that you need protecting from?

Nope, the sexes aren't equal, but neither is one person to the next.

 

31.07.2008, 00:28 quote

cheekycornwal
cheekycornwal Joined: 29 Oct 2007 Posts: 21 Location: United Kingdom, England, Cornwall
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I like big guys! Lov them..... much beta then a skinny lil twig!! I dated a slim guys few yrs bk....its was horrible, e had no ass or anythin like dat. Such a turn off! I ave bin wiv a podgey guy aswel n da sex was gr8! Best eva. Honest girlies....big is beta!!! Whoop whoop! Very Happy Very Happy

 

31.07.2008, 11:46 quote

darren1971

Speaking from experience I think us big guys can pique the interest of some women , once we can talk to them and let them get to know us. However, whether they actually want fat guys is a difficult one. I think it's the initial attraction thing that is the hurdle for most women, if you were to be in a bar, you'd likely scan for potential partners and since we all have that "biological imperative" to choose well, you'd also likely look right through us fatties and see only the "hunks". That's a generalisation of course but for the most part I think true. Even here on flirtbox and such sites you'll see that an honest picture won't yield results compared to a photo of a six pack. So I would have to say no, women don't want fat men, they may however "take a chance" on one. It's not a great feeling though. I'm yet to find a woman who is actually attracted because I'm a fat bloke. I would like to pose a question though. How fat is fat and can we define a limit?

 

31.07.2008, 12:05 quote

choochi0
choochi0 Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 4562 Location: United Kingdom, England, Sussex
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cheekycornwal wrote:
I like big guys! Lov them..... much beta then a skinny lil twig!! I dated a slim guys few yrs bk....its was horrible, e had no ass or anythin like dat. Such a turn off! I ave bin wiv a podgey guy aswel n da sex was gr8! Best eva. Honest girlies....big is beta!!! Whoop whoop! Very Happy Very Happy


Where's Scaramuccia when you need him?

 

31.07.2008, 13:10 quote

CMISO
CMISO Joined: 18 Jun 2007 Posts: 2073 Location: United Kingdom, England, Lincolnshire
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choochi0 wrote:
CMISO wrote:
Damn, I wanted Choochi0 to protect me. Laughing


And what is it that you need protecting from?


Infamy, infamy they've all got it in for me.

Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get me.
_________________

 

31.07.2008, 13:13 quote

choochi0
choochi0 Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 4562 Location: United Kingdom, England, Sussex
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CMISO wrote:
choochi0 wrote:
CMISO wrote:
Damn, I wanted Choochi0 to protect me. Laughing


And what is it that you need protecting from?


Infamy, infamy they've all got it in for me.

Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get me.


That's too true, added to the fact that I know they are out to get you.

 
 
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