you don’t get it its complete unreasonable that’s the point when you get to that point trust is not the issue how the relationship stands is not the issue and you realise all this but you cant do anything about it, its like your looking down on yourself saying NO NO don’t do that but you have no control, you talk yourself out of an action to find out while you talked yourself out of it you were doing it, its not a simple you don’t trust them, its not the world is out to get you its you for no reason what ever you have decided to at on little things that would not normally bother you ok this sounds like im making excuses for my actions and I guess to some extent I am.

Don't really do jealousy except on very rare occassions.
Usually when it's just someone I like, but can't be with,.. that sort of thing, ... it comes from powerlessness.

It's never been a problem per-se, just recognise it for what it is,... soul destroying, painful, unpleasant but usually temporary.

Never been jealous in a relationship.
I guess it's an insecurity/ greed/ posessive/ power thing, but I've never been a posessive or domineering person (too laid back for that).
I just suffer in silence, am not the kind to bully other people,... especially someone I care for etc.

Feckitanyway you got the first part so right its the powerless bit, in most if not all relationships each person has certain percent of power/control im not talking we have a dominat role just some power, now weather someone takes to much power or someone gives this power or if we lost it down the pud the other night
once that power is perceived as gone you get the problem again its not a domination or submissive thing, also someone menchend
fancy wrote:
its a horrible feeling not to be trusted and even worse if it becomes abusive, emotional or physical.... controlling relationships can be very scary things ....there are no excuses for that kind of behaviour...

Hu… bugger were did that come from last person I hit was my sister and I was 12 after my mother beat my Arse and told me boy don’t hit girls and I never did again (wish my mum had told my sister the same thing

lol...no problem twinight, i wasnt suggesting you did...

I used to get bouts of jealousy.

I found that it was selfishness on my part and hope. If i unfairly invested hopes of a relationship or daydreamed about being with someone and it turned out a way i didn't like, i either felt hard done by or upset that i wasn't good enough.

It is an ugly feeling, but i find i avoid it these days by not investing emotionally in strangers. Im over cautious and cold sometimes as a result but i find it better than being embitterd and sullen.

Mind you as a result i have missed opportunities with certain people as a result of my cowardice in dealing with my envy.

Wish i could help.

I'm thinking that maybe its less jealousy than just plain old self-pity or heart-ache that I tend to suffer from.