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Poll: have you experienced your perception of true love?

have you experienced your perception of true love?
yes i have
50%
 50%  [ 3 ]
no i haven't
33%
 33%  [ 2 ]
unsure
16%
 16%  [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 6
 

Home >> Love & Relationships >> CAN YOU HONESTLY SAY YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED TRUE LOVE?

29.04.2008, 23:40 quote

dustysky

who amongst you,has had true love?
what did you feel?
why are you reading this now?
what caused it to end?
i can only say that i have experienced true love once in my life.
the relationship was filled with so many emotions
such a deep sense of fulfilment,passion,understanding,
i felt so many different things all at once.we fought,oh boy did we fight.lol
the making up was out of this world,
i was 30 when i found my true love and a cruel twist of fate wrenched it away 3 years later.
when you find it,will you know,i mean really understand what it is?
i don't know if i can ever find it again on the same level.
is that an unfair precident to set,
if you close your eyes and swell with emotion when you take your partner gently in your arms and feel the warmth of their breath on your skin,then do not let it go.

 

29.04.2008, 23:50 quote

lilacrose

Everyone will have a different perception of what 'true love' is.
There is another thread someplace here about The One.

You say," i don't know if i can ever find it again on the same level.
is that an unfair precident to set,"

Thats where I am right now. Dont have an answer.
I hope I can find it again. Or summat similar at least, same level, but parallel. I am not yet 42. I dont want to spend the rest of my life alone. But nor do I want to settle for 'second best' or want for anyone else to feel they are my 'second best'.

 

30.04.2008, 09:39 quote

s6boystu
s6boystu Joined: 06 Mar 2008 Posts: 2360 Location: United Kingdom, England, Essex
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i have... hence i don't really know if i wanna play the love game again
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30.04.2008, 09:41 quote

baggiebhoy
baggiebhoy Joined: 06 Mar 2008 Posts: 5466 Location: United Kingdom, England, West Midlands
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No, I haven't. In anybodies definition, probably.
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30.04.2008, 10:01 quote

shirazkhan
shirazkhan Joined: 28 Jan 2007 Posts: 1166 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Glasgow
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s6boystu wrote:
i have... hence i don't really know if i wanna play the love game again


Mate, Love's not a game.

 

30.04.2008, 10:52 quote

lilacrose

My guess is that Stu didnt mean it literally. If he did, he would be happily playing the game still, with a string of broken hearts in his wake.
Shiraz, have you ever read Dr Eric Berne's book "Games People Play" - basically, *life* is a game and we all play them, by the same subliminal rules - is what he says.

 

30.04.2008, 11:17 quote

s6boystu
s6boystu Joined: 06 Mar 2008 Posts: 2360 Location: United Kingdom, England, Essex
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shirazkhan wrote:
s6boystu wrote:
i have... hence i don't really know if i wanna play the love game again


Mate, Love's not a game.


i know that, you know that - try explaining it to my ex missus. Confused
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30.04.2008, 11:17 quote

s6boystu
s6boystu Joined: 06 Mar 2008 Posts: 2360 Location: United Kingdom, England, Essex
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lilacrose wrote:
My guess is that Stu didnt mean it literally. If he did, he would be happily playing the game still, with a string of broken hearts in his wake.
Shiraz, have you ever read Dr Eric Berne's book "Games People Play" - basically, *life* is a game and we all play them, by the same subliminal rules - is what he says.


i think i've read some of that
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30.04.2008, 12:50 quote

LittleVixen
LittleVixen Joined: 11 Oct 2006 Posts: 10687 Location: United Kingdom, England, Cornwall
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s6boystu wrote:
shirazkhan wrote:
s6boystu wrote:
i have... hence i don't really know if i wanna play the love game again


Mate, Love's not a game.


i know that, you know that - try explaining it to my ex missus. Confused


Dont go by past experiences Stu, you have loads of years left to find so called love, trust me you will find it one day probably when your least expecting it. Look to the future not the past, you cant change the past but you sure as hell can the future & learn from any mistakes you may have made. Very Happy

I think I have been in love a few times in my life, some deeper than others, not sure when or if it will happen again, but I do hope so Confused I am now 52 & I really dont want to be on my own for the rest of my life....that scares me a quite a bit but I do believe I will find love again one day........
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01.05.2008, 09:04 quote

shirazkhan
shirazkhan Joined: 28 Jan 2007 Posts: 1166 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Glasgow
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lilacrose wrote:
My guess is that Stu didnt mean it literally. If he did, he would be happily playing the game still, with a string of broken hearts in his wake.
Shiraz, have you ever read Dr Eric Berne's book "Games People Play" - basically, *life* is a game and we all play them, by the same subliminal rules - is what he says.


I tend to refuse those lines of thoughts. Two reasons...

1. If life was a game then we'd all play by the same set of rules. In reality, the rules for some people will always be different from the rules of others. Often, individual rulesets will be made (something that we refer commonly as our beliefs/preferences/morals.) think about it, would you play a game in which the rules werent uniform? The only uniform rule in this case would be "Everyone dies."

2. To me, referring to something so vital as a game means trivialising it or giving it less importance. If there's one thing I take seriously, It's this life I have.

I agree no one has quite understood life or the meaning of it. I'm as clueless about it as you are, doubly so about love.

And Stu, I wasn't pulling you up in either way for saying so - I just meant to say you shouldnt look at it that way because you dont seem like that kind of person - one who treats it like a game.

regardless of what your ex thinks.

easier said than done and all that notwithstanding, you know what I mean Smile

 

01.05.2008, 11:13 quote

s6boystu
s6boystu Joined: 06 Mar 2008 Posts: 2360 Location: United Kingdom, England, Essex
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lol if i really thought life was a game mate, i'd of chucked my cards in a long time ago and left the table !

Btw - if you think about it, we do play by a set of rules in life, only some of us don't know all of them ( namely me ), there are basic rules such as eat, sleep, drink etc then the other rules - known as law..

There are rules for everything, it's just that some of us know where we can bend them and where we can't Wink
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01.05.2008, 11:30 quote

shirazkhan
shirazkhan Joined: 28 Jan 2007 Posts: 1166 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Glasgow
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s6boystu wrote:
lol if i really thought life was a game mate, i'd of chucked my cards in a long time ago and left the table !

Btw - if you think about it, we do play by a set of rules in life, only some of us don't know all of them ( namely me ), there are basic rules such as eat, sleep, drink etc then the other rules - known as law..

There are rules for everything, it's just that some of us know where we can bend them and where we can't Wink


The things you describe are needs not rules. They arent uniform as well - some people sleep late even though they have work in the morning, some people eat less even though it's not the way to provide nutrition to their bodies.

the question was more to with decisions in life and love rather than the actual day to day mundane tasks we do. No two people in the same position make the same decision, circumstances are different and so are motivations.

a game has set rules and a set goal - life has no set goal, it changes from time to time as do the rules to "play" it.

 

01.05.2008, 11:59 quote

lilacrose

Shiraz, I have to admit to not agreeing with everything Berne said. But alot of what he said about Social Interaction is at times very obviously played out, even on these forums at times.
It would make more sense if his 'rules' were called 'formulas': If I do/say A, then B will happen (the reaction I want from others). When a person does this for the sake of love, it is not real love, that is manipulation and control.
But, I wont go into that, as its rather off topic. Berne also discussed Transactional Analysis, which is something I very much agree with.
If we all have 3 States (2 of which are sub-divided) then I think to be IN love one needs both parties to be in the Free Child State, and to Love ie accept the other person warts and all and live compatibly, then both parties are in the Adult State.
I would imagine most relationships would begin falling IN love, then settles down to Love, warts and all. It seems to me that the fallen in love stage fizzles out and does not settle into something deeper and more meaningful when one or the other finds a foible/behavior pattern not to their liking and tries to force them to change.
Aftre all, one can be madly in love with a person they caught a fleeting glimpse of on a train, a movie star etc. but can only surely really love when they get to know a person at a much deeper level of understanding?
That's my current understanding of this strange thing called love!

 

12.05.2008, 12:39 quote

jeggae

Not yet....but then I've probably gone out of my way not to find it over the last 25 years. Maybe something I regret now and maybe I'm worse off because of it.

 

12.05.2008, 12:45 quote

kizz

I have once. It's a very rare thing. I would hope to find it again someday.

 
 
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