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Home >> Love & Relationships >> CAN YOU BE FRIENDS WITH AN EX??
22.09.2008, 21:24 quote
| moose666 wrote: | ||||
Just a little something for you to think about, Heidi. Have you stopped to wonder WHY he has suddenly developed this wonderful and brilliant personality since you broke up with him, and still wants to hang out with you? Have a little think, it's not too hard to work out.
Blokes (or indeed women) always say this sort of shit when someone's broken up with them, and they want to keep hanging around in their company hoping that they might relent and get back together again. |
Sorry Moose i will have to disagree ........ some poeple are better apart than they are together ........ yes there is always a reason for you break up on the first place ......... but if you can get past that and you get on as people and care about them ......... why do you have to throw there friendship away ????? and of course there are exceptions to the rule.
A lot of my relationships have been built around friendship first, actually one of my best girlfriends keeps telling me that i collect too many male friends .......
22.09.2008, 21:40 quote
Well yeah of course the women are bound to disagree with me, I expected no less. Let's just say I've called it how I see it and leave it at that. 
22.09.2008, 21:44 quote
| moose666 wrote: |
| Well yeah of course the women are bound to disagree with me, I expected no less. Let's just say I've called it how I see it and leave it at that. |
I agree with you.
23.09.2008, 09:13 quote
I see what your saying Moose, and can agree on some levels, but i know myself (whether he has ulterior motives or not) that I would not take our friendship any further again.
Firstly, i have a new interest in my life that i wouldnt want to jeopoardise, and if it comes to the point with that interest where i feel a step further is needed/wanted/going to happen, then i will tell the ex that i cant hang out with him anymore, because i have met someone else. Simple.
But yes, we are better apart than we were together.
23.09.2008, 17:22 quote
| DeepthroatH wrote: |
| I see what your saying Moose, and can agree on some levels, but i know myself (whether he has ulterior motives or not) that I would not take our friendship any further again.
Firstly, i have a new interest in my life that i wouldnt want to jeopoardise, and if it comes to the point with that interest where i feel a step further is needed/wanted/going to happen, then i will tell the ex that i cant hang out with him anymore, because i have met someone else. Simple. But yes, we are better apart than we were together. |
Not having a go Heidi .......... so what your saying is this ex you say is a friend is someone you are just socialising with until something better comes along ???? When i am friends with someone i am friends unconditionally ........ yeah of course your not guna see them so much if you have a boyfriend but you can the same about any female friends you have ......... if any of my future boyfriends have an issue with me having male friends, then it's there problem ....... and i would never expect him to give up his female friends neither.
23.09.2008, 17:29 quote
| funkychick1 wrote: |
| if any of my future boyfriends have an issue with me having male friends, then it's there problem ....... |
There is a difference between having male friends, and having an ex hanging around who is on a mission to win you back, though.
23.09.2008, 17:50 quote
| moose666 wrote: | ||
There is a difference between having male friends, and having an ex hanging around who is on a mission to win you back, though. |
Well obviously there is a difference, and i would hope that anyone in that situation would be able to see it and set them straight and if they weren't willing to be 'just' friends then that's a different story.
Like a few have mentioned on here they get a long with there ex's very well, just dont understand why that should stop because you have boyfriend.
Relationships should be built on trust, i have lost a few friends in the past because of boyfriends i have had, they could see what sort of guy he was and warned me off him, i chose not to listen. So i no longer choose to loose friends over a man. If he is the right guy then he will except that and visa versa.
23.09.2008, 18:08 quote
the memories are too intense for me to stay friendly with exs.. i tend to let go with the quickness (amicably of course) just so i aint tempted to fall back
23.09.2008, 20:25 quote
| moose666 wrote: | ||
There is a difference between having male friends, and having an ex hanging around who is on a mission to win you back, though. |
Having an ex hang around until you get a new boyfriend then ditch him is *using* him. Pure and simple.
Sure Heidi, you enjoy his company but whichever way I look at this, if you have already decided to give him the elbow when you meet someone else...sorry to be so blunt but I am glad I aint one of your so-called 'friends' if that's how you treat them!
24.09.2008, 08:59 quote
ARGH.
As with everything i say on this fecking forum, its again been twisted out of context.
I currently spend a fair amount of time with an ex of mine. The very one i have spoken about, and yes, we are quite close. If i got with someone then he would have to back off and he fully knows this. Same with me and him.
I am not using him, we are friends.
I understand how it looked when i said what i said, but then i also think that if i got a new bloke, i wouldnt want said new bloke hanging out with his ex's either.
Its all just bullshit! You can be friends with an ex, providing your single...otherwise, it causes heart ache and problems and arguments and pointless discussions about trust and stuff. If i had a new relation going, of course i would stay friends with him, but i wouldnt spend all the time with him like i do now.
Meh fuck it. I cant be arsed explaining.
24.09.2008, 09:12 quote
| DeepthroatH wrote: |
| ARGH.
As with everything i say on this fecking forum, its again been twisted out of context. I currently spend a fair amount of time with an ex of mine. The very one i have spoken about, and yes, we are quite close. If i got with someone then he would have to back off and he fully knows this. Same with me and him. I am not using him, we are friends. I understand how it looked when i said what i said, but then i also think that if i got a new bloke, i wouldnt want said new bloke hanging out with his ex's either. Its all just bullshit! You can be friends with an ex, providing your single...otherwise, it causes heart ache and problems and arguments and pointless discussions about trust and stuff. If i had a new relation going, of course i would stay friends with him, but i wouldnt spend all the time with him like i do now. Meh fuck it. I cant be arsed explaining. |
Stop worrying about how you explain things DH. Yes the first time you said it didn't sound so great, but the above explains perfectly what you were trying to say.
I get on with my last ex and saw quite a bit of each other when we first broke up. We were such good friends, why lose that, but since meeting my b/f, we've both backed away as it's less complicated that way. I've moved away since but we still meet up occasionally for a coffee and a chinwag.
Really good friends are hard to come by, so why lose one just cos you saw each other naked occasionally?
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24.09.2008, 10:58 quote
| redelicious wrote: | ||
Stop worrying about how you explain things DH. Yes the first time you said it didn't sound so great, but the above explains perfectly what you were trying to say. I get on with my last ex and saw quite a bit of each other when we first broke up. We were such good friends, why lose that, but since meeting my b/f, we've both backed away as it's less complicated that way. I've moved away since but we still meet up occasionally for a coffee and a chinwag. Really good friends are hard to come by, so why lose one just cos you saw each other naked occasionally? |
LOL.
Thanks Red - am not having the best day today and i think steam was pouring out my ears when i typed that!
24.09.2008, 14:50 quote
If i got with someone then he would have to back off and he fully knows this.
Yep. Still reads the same to me.
But Heidi, why the steam? Who gives a flying fiddle what I think? You dont have to explain yourself to me, or anyone. You are who you are, maybe you and me have different ideas about this topic, but so what? That's what life's all about.
24.09.2008, 16:07 quote
| rocketgirl wrote: |
| If i got with someone then he would have to back off and he fully knows this.
Yep. Still reads the same to me.
But Heidi, why the steam? Who gives a flying fiddle what I think? You dont have to explain yourself to me, or anyone. You are who you are, maybe you and me have different ideas about this topic, but so what? That's what life's all about. |
RG - you are right, and not everyone has to agree all the time.
by back off i meant he would have to stop coming to my house. Fair enough, lets go for a drink, but i think thats a little too close for comfort for the partner anyway.
This is all hypothetical anyhow, i am single so what does it matter?
24.09.2008, 17:09 quote
| redelicious wrote: | ||
Stop worrying about how you explain things DH. Yes the first time you said it didn't sound so great, but the above explains perfectly what you were trying to say. I get on with my last ex and saw quite a bit of each other when we first broke up. We were such good friends, why lose that, but since meeting my b/f, we've both backed away as it's less complicated that way. I've moved away since but we still meet up occasionally for a coffee and a chinwag. Really good friends are hard to come by, so why lose one just cos you saw each other naked occasionally? |
Exactly Red ........
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