I will meet someone new when I am good and ready. I'm here for a bit of fun, a laugh and to meet new people. If I stumble along someone I happen to have a connection with then, watch this space, until then I am in no hurry. I for one can look upon the ex with fondness and will continue to until someone else makes me think more about them. That is all.

yes you can, my parents divorced when i was 10 but now 9 years later they are very good friends with very different lives and other partners.

That's quite sweet actually. I'm feeling all soft now...

I was thinking "why not *always* think of the ex with fondness"?
I understand not wishing to put one's self in emotional harm's way by not staying 'friends', but it seems to me over the years alot of the time it's not *you* who can't get over your ex, it's all the new partners you meet who can't get over your ex.
Over the years, having been split up with my hubby for nearly 13 years now, the amount of times someone - a date I mean - gets all uppety and upset over us being friends, its amazing.
Its like when you meet a widow/er. The love they had for the deceased partner didnt stop, but some people will not accept that, even though they are not actually 'second best', its more a choice of 'today's best'.
Like you said though, the new person has to become more important in your heart for it to work in the long run.
Its the rebound that buggers things up.

I'm always amazed at how sour slitups often are. I'd love to know what brain activity/chemistry is involved. It must be pretty deep rooted. Interesting....


Any neuroscientists out there?

Let's invite the Eggheads round for pancakes. Those fookers will know - clever gits!!!

Can we use their heads to make the pancakes?

I maintain, for my head and my heart, I honestly cannot be friends with her as much as we'd both like to. I get a text from her - I'm in a spin. She waves or smiles at me, Im all over the place. She leaves little gifts on my doorstep or sends my favourite take-a-way if I'm home late and it confuses me. However most af all, I hear her voice and I'm messed up for days. Therefore - I cannot be friends.

Sometimes its good to be objective

i've never had a sour break up my self but i haven't stayed friends with them


i suppose sour break-up are a result of what the relationship was like

i have a friend who has just split up and it is very sour, in the main because he was a total arse to her while they were together and then when she finally broke up with him about it, he got all uppity

Nope, I can't. However - her parents do still ring me to see how I am etc. My mother says they should stop that, I agree.