Hi!

I am Heidi. I am Bi-sexual, but with a man at the moment.

I currently live with my best friend Danny, who is gay. I love him to pieces. We call each other all sorts of names (both at home and in public). His favourite for me at the moment is bitch (then snaps his fingers as if i am meant to come running) and or Whore. Neither of which i mind. My name for him at the moment (it changes with my mood) is Faggot. I have asked if this offends him, and he has said it doesnt, so fine, whilst he is okay with it, i will continue to call him it.

I had an incident a few months back, with a neighbour of mine (she isnt apparently a lesbian, though came on to me in a pub...) who is very butch. She dresses/acts and behaves like a bloke, though is in fact a woman. From my understanding from various neighbours, she has had a lot of problems in the past with both her sexuality, her gender issues, her parents not wanting to know her etc...

Anyway, she had been victimising me since i moved into the house, saying that i make too much noise (she lives opposite me so she couldnt possibly know that i did or not) and that i was upsetting all the neighbours etc. I let this lie and did my best not to p*ss anyone off, but it got worse. She would come to the window and stare at me if i left the house, or lean out the window when i was getting out of my car or a taxi in the street.

It really got to me, and i felt quite intimidated, however i didnt let her bother me, until one night (my birthday this year) i had been out and was a little drunk. I got out the taxi and she was at her bedroom window. Having had a drink and n ot really caring anymore i waved up at her. She proceeded to open the window and start yelling abuse at me, along the lines of "I'm f*cking sick of you making so much noise in the street....f*cking taxis at all hours in the morning...screaming and shouting....".

I was a little confused because this wasn't a regular occurance getting taxis home, and i have certainly never screamed or shouted in the street! Anyway, she carried on and in the end, i told her to shut up.

She got more mad and started yelling (bearing in mind she was shouting at me for keeping people awake, whilst yelling out onto the street... ) dont tell me to shut up you f*cking fat b*tch!!"

So i lost it. My head went (as it does when i have had a drink and someone is rude to me) and i told her to f*ck off. And called her a Dyke.

I am not proud of what i said, but i said it. Anyway, i made my way to the house, by which time she rocked up in her PJ's and started jabbing me, telling me i knew nothing about her, and should never ever call her that again or else she would smash my face in blah blah blah. My friend Jenny (who happens to be a lesbian) was with me, and after we had both asked her to leave and she didnt, we escorted her off the premises.

The result was (if you want to know..) that she called the police and tried to have me in court for committing a hate crime (calling her a Dyke), and common assault (escorting her out the garden after asking her to leave). The officer told me she was known to them from past incidents and i shouldnt worry about it, and he left his number and said if i had any problems with her, contact him!!! (I later found out she had an ASBO!!)

The reason for the longest winded post in the world is:-

Does the work Dyke offend you? If not, which word does offend you?

And was i bang out of order after she called me a fat b*tch?

I don't know about what you've asked but I do reckon she's envious of where you are in life and wished she were in your shoes! You seem to know who you are and she can see you having fun times with your mates always reflecting the life she would probably want for herself.
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Thank you for that.

See, someone else said that too, but i dont believe people can be like that. I dont know, my brain doesnt compute stuff like that. I just look and think each person is individual and has their own life to get on with, you got to make the best of what your dealt.

It wasn't right to call her a Dyke.

BUT she started the argument, had already verbally abused you and seems to have a vendetta against you for some reason. No-one can stand that kind of pressure without cracking eventually and as you said you had had a drink - so you said the first thing that came into your head.

It's good your local police know her to be a trouble-maker and didn't take the matter further because you have obviously been REALLY patient with her on all the other occasions.

I'm just sorry you still have to live near her - she sounds like a nightmare!