Hey girls. I'm so confused right now. I've always been confused about my sexuality, but it's got worse lately. I usually say I'm bi. But now I'm not so sure. Because I'm gonna be honest for the first time here. I've never said this before, but when I was with guys sexually, I'd usually think about girls I feel so so bad about it, I know it's awful. But the thing is, I love my ex. I was so in love with him. He's a good looking guy, and I was attracted to him, but when it came to sexual things...a lot of the time I'd think about girls. And if I masturbate it's 90% of the time over girls. And always has been. When I was just 10 I snogged, and a little bit more, with a girl.

What the hell? I dunno...am I bi or lesbian? It doesn't make sense because I love a male.

Any advice would be very much appreciated. Thank you.

i am just coming to accept that i like girls too. i dated guys through school and uni and thought of myself as straight, except i thought about girls a lot! if i used to see a hot girl around campus i'd fantasize about her later. i even masturbated to pics in my b/f's FHM and Loaded magazines from time to time. i like guys as friends, but girls just do it for me sexually. i'm pretty inexperienced, but the first time i was kissed and touched by another woman, i knew that i didn't want anything else. i also enjoyed the giving part more than any guy i'd ever been with - if you kno what i mean! i'm currently single, in the closet - my family and friends woul die - and wondering where i go from here. good luck to you too! x

Hey confused ladies lol.

Firstly...JD7:
If you're still attracted to guys, you're bi... no matter if you fantasise about women while you're with guys or not. The male form still turns you on, and you "like cock" so to speak. I would say you are bi, while leaning towards women. That's fine... most of the time when I play with myself, I'm thinking about girls too...or a combination of girls and guys.

And Sarah:
You sound like you're fully lesbian... that's great, at least you're not confused. But what is bothering you is this....you have to hide who you are. Don't do that, hunni. Don't feel like you have to have the token "man" on your arm to please your friends and family. I was terrified when I came out as bi...but I did it all the same... my mother just shrugged and said...ok...lol. My brother had me in tears. He told me that I was making a show of him and I should be ashamed of myself. I eventually told him to F off...and then he came around to the idea. None of my friends were really surprised. And a few came out and told me, sure I knew that!
There is no awkwardness between me and my friends...we still parade around naked with each other lol.
I'd be surprised if some of your friends don't already suspect. Tell the one you think is most open minded and take it from there. It's much more acceptable to be gay/bi in today's society. There are no more lynch mobs. You'll be fine.

Good luck, both of you xxxx

thanx 4 the advice almostpurrfect. i know that i will have to do it sometime and that i'm not the first to go thru this. i always had a guy on my arm at school and uni, so i think they'll be surprised to find out that i'm into girls. lol it doesn't help that i'm currently living at home - a little independence will help, especially if i'm going to meet the girl of my dreams. thanks again. x

Heya! Sorry to join the conversation halfway through, but I can really see where you are coming from. I do not know where the hell I am with my sexuality at the moment... All through school and, well, up until now really, I have always thought of myself as hetrosexual, although have always been attracted and intrigued by women. I married a man a few years ago though it lasted only a couple of months. Since then I had another relationship with a man and got dumped on BIG TIME. Since then, men have not really done anything for me... I do not know if I am just confused and need to spend my life with a woman, an in the closet bi or just so disillusioned with men at the moment because I have been hurt so much. I just dunno... I do tend to think women beautyiful and most men a waste of space, but again, I do not know if I am confused or what... Argh!!!
I am also awaiting major reconstructive surgery so will be pretty disgusting to EVERYONE afterwards. Maybe I will just stay a spinster and end up with thousands of cats
Love you all, Merri x

Sounds to me like you're just sick of men at the moment. You don't mention having sexual feelings for girls, just thinking that they are beautiful. And let's face it,...women can admit another woman is gorgeous without being gay. Maybe you're just curious... my advice would be to find a woman you think of as attractive....and try to imagine yourself having sex with her. If you can't stomach the thought, well then you wouldn't be able to do it in reality either.
As for the reconstructive surgery... why do you need it? And I'm sure you're not seen as disgusting by anyone. We all have things about us that we absolutely despise...and yet, someone else might not think much about it at all. We are our own worst enemies when it comes to the mirror, ladies. And after your surgery,....you'll look the absolute bee's knees! So don't worry about it!

The thing is, that yes, I could imagine myself in that position - I am sure I could have a very fulfilling relationship.

The reconstructive surgery is to reconstraut my sternum after it failed to heal after heart surgery... not nice

Well if you could imagine yourself doing it,...go for it and see how you feel.
Sorry to hear about your operation...hope all is well soon.

yeah it seems to me you are curious, so try chatting to a few women on here and see how you feel, and you can take it as far or as little as you want

thank you almostpurrfect and twistedviolet

i think i will... until my nerve gets the better of me... i am quite shy meeting people - but everyone here seems so nice and friendly

we are secretly a cult tho

ah! so the truth is out... hey, there isn't any wierd initiation? lol

Oh yes of course there is!

Firstly we all have to git nekkid and compare boobies.... then we have to moan about weight gain and stretch marks.
Then we'll all have a naked disco.... and get drunkenly snoggish....
Before the night is over we all have to bite the heads off chickens and drink the blood...........

You're usual night out!

Oh, well, that is ok then... I can handle that... lol

Thank you both, I know I may seem completely stupid, but I have not been able to talk to anyone about it. So again, thank you.

Merri x