At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.

Me version

At age 4 success is . . . try making me parents peeing in em pants.
At age 12 success is . . . try making me friends peeing in em pants.
At age 17 success is . . . try making me a tutors peeing in em pants.
At age 35 success is . . . try making me wife peeing in em pants.
At age 50 success is . . . try making me kids peeing in em pants.
At age 70 success is . . . try making me grandchildren peeing in em pants.
At age 75 success is . . . try making me carer peeing in em pants.
At age 80 success is . . . last but not least try not peeing in me own pants all my life.( a lil bit too late tho)

hahaha

Heyyyyyy I like your version better Jerri

Just changed the title as thought it more apt, also another little add on:

Incontinence Hot line...Can you hold please?