Jokes >> The Mailman.......

13.10.2008, 15:47 quote

LittleVixen

Joined: 11 Oct 2006 Posts: 7143 Location: United Kingdom, England, Cornwall

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighbourhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.

"Wow , Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night" the mailman comments.
Bob in obvious pain replies, "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first time I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning.

We had about fifteen couples from around the neighbourhood over for Christmas Cheer and it got a bit wild. Hell, we got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I?

"The mailman thinks a moment and says, "How do you play that?"!

"Well ,all the guys go in the bedroom ,and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our 'privates' showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is.

"The mailman laughs and says, "Damn, I'm sorry I missed that."

"Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds. "Your name came up four or five times..........
_________________
You are only young once . . . but you can stay immature indefinitely!

13.10.2008, 23:22 quote

choochi0

Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 4547 Location: United Kingdom, England, Sussex

14.10.2008, 09:53 quote

colkitto

THREE SOUTHERN BOYS

Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.

The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together.

Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, 'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, 'Nope, ain't Bubba.'
The mortician thought this was rather strange, so he brought Gomer in to confirm.
'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over.' The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, 'No, it ain't Bubba.'
The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'
'Well, Bubba had two assholes.'
'What? He had two assholes?' asked the mortician.
'Yup, we never seen em,' but everybody used to say, 'There's Bubba with them two assholes.

14.10.2008, 12:02 quote

cheekykev

Joined: 11 Apr 2008 Posts: 1982 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Glasgow

colkitto wrote:

THREE SOUTHERN BOYS

Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.

The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together.

Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, 'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, 'Nope, ain't Bubba.'
The mortician thought this was rather strange, so he brought Gomer in to confirm.
'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over.' The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, 'No, it ain't Bubba.'
The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'
'Well, Bubba had two assholes.'
'What? He had two assholes?' asked the mortician.
'Yup, we never seen em,' but everybody used to say, 'There's Bubba with them two assholes.

Brilliant!!!