Imagine if all major retailers started making their own brand of condoms
but kept the same marketing slogans..?

sainsbury condoms- making life taste better

tesco condoms- every little helps

nike condoms- just do it

peugeot condoms- the ride of your life

galaxy condoms- why have rubber when you can have silk

KFC condoms- finger, licking good

minstrels condoms- melt in your mouth, not in your hands

safeway condoms- lightening the load

abbey national condoms- because life is complicated enough

coca cola condoms- the real thing

duracell condoms- keep going and going

pringles condoms- once you pop, you can't stop

burger king condoms- home of the whopper

goodyear condoms- for a longer ride go wide

FCUK condoms- no comment required

muller light condoms- so much pleasure but where's the pain


halfords condoms- we go the extra mile

on-digital condoms- plug and play
royal mail condoms- I saw this and thought of you

andrex condoms- soft, strong and very very long

renault condoms- size really does matter!

ronseal condoms- does exactly what it says on the tin

ronseal quick-drying condoms- its dry and waterproof in about 30 minutes

domestos condoms- gets right under the rim

heineken condoms- reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reach

carlsberg condoms- probably the best condom in the world

AA condoms- the 4th emergency service

pepperami condoms- it's a bit of an animal

polo condoms- the condom with the hole




What happened to the Hyena who fell into a pot of gravy?




He made a laughing stock of himself.




What is the longest sentence in the world?




"I do" !!!

fankoooo kizz.


heres some more....



1. Cover your stump before you hump
2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner
6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong
7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it
8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey
9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize
10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
12. If you go into heat, package your meat
13. While you're undressing venus, dress up your penis
14. When you take off her pants and blouse, slip up your trouser mouse
15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member
16. Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker
17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool
18. The right selection will protect your erection
19. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil
20. A crank with armor will never harm her
21. No glove, no love!

What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud

What do you call a camal with 3 humps?
Humphreys

What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies !

What does a fish say when it runs into a wall?
DAMN!

If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?

How do you stop a fish from smelling?
Cut its nose off

What do you call a fish with no eye ?
FSH !

What do you call a deer with no eyes ?
I have no I-Deer

What is invisable and smells like carrots?
Rabbit farts.

What is a dogs favourite school subject?
"Dog-Ruff-E "

Why are there no asprins in the jungle?
Because the Parots-ate-em-all

Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested?
He was charged with battery.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.

Why do gerillas have big nostralls?
Coz they got big fingers!!!!!!!!!

What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a Pitt Bull?
Lipstick