a man goes to a fancy dress party wearing only a glass jar over his penis. lady asks: "what are you?" he says: "im a fireman" "but you are only wearing a glass jar" says the women "exactly, in a emergency, break glass, pull knob and ill cum as fast as i can"


i thought i would be fun to all post jokes. x

my joke of the week...


a daughter says to her mother "my hands are freezing cold"
her mother replies "put your hand between legs and your body will warm them up."
she the girl puts her hand between her legs and sure enough her hands warm up.
the next day shes out with her boyfriend and he says to her " god my hands are freezing" she thinks for a moment and then says "put them between my legs and they'll warm up." he smiles and then says "you know what? my penis is cold" she says " put it between my legs then..."
that night the daughter asks her mother "have you ever heard of penis? her mother says "yes, why?" the daughter replies " they make a terrible mess when they defrost!"


i know its a bit long winded but it made me giggle!

i like it vary funny

thank you
heres another...

a man gets home from working the night shift and decides to wake up his wife by giving her oral sex. he climbs under the duvet, spreads her legs and works his magic til she quivers and cums in his face. he goes into the bathroom to clean up and he finds his wife shaving her legs 'what the hell are you doing in here?' he yells at her. 'shhhhh his wife says you'll wake your mother'

bit dirty but *shrugs* its funny

i liked that one, ok i got another one for you

why is a christmas tree better than a man?

it stays up for 12 days and nites, has cute balls, and looks good with the lights on.

ooooo i like it christmassy...

got another long... apropriate though...

Gordon Brown was looking for a lady of the night. he found such a lady in a local pub. he said to her 'im the primeminister of england. how much would it cost me to spend the night with you?' she replied 'mr.prime minister if you can get my skirt as high as my taxes, your willy as hard as the times we live in and keep it rising like the petrol prices and screw me the way you have the pensioners, then it wont cost you a bloody penny!