A bloke goes for a job in the Quality Assurance department at Durex. The
foreman takes him round the plant and shows him all the machinery
and offers him the job.

"What will the role entail exactly?" Asks the man.
"Well", says the foreman, "you have to check one in a hundred", and
proceeds to remove one of the rubbers from the production line,
stretches it, holds it up to the lights, then places it over his
manhood, then calls the secretary over.

She proceeds to hitch her skirt up, pull her knickers down and bends over. The foreman does the business and after he's finished he removes the Durex, stretches it, holds it up to the light again to confirm no holes.

"Easy as that", he says.
"When do I start?" Asks the man, unable to believe his luck.
"Monday, 8:00 sharp!" Naturally, our hero hardly sleeps a wink all Sunday
night, and is outside the Durex factory waiting to get in at 6:30.
Anyway, the production line starts up and the man faithfully counts out 100
ribbed black mambo's (lubricated with ensodol for extra comfort). He picks
up the 101st, stretches it, holds it up to the light to check for holes then pulls it over his manhood and calls the secretary over.

Over she comes, grabs hold of his manhood, and proceeds to vigorously
masturbate him. Rather startled and confused, the man just looks at the
secretary who says...........






"Sorry, it's company policy. You've got to work a week in hand"

lol mel... nice one.

heres another un...


------------------------
Dangerous Wishes...

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four."

Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.

This time the husband crosses his fingers and says, "Mirror, mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!"

Again, there's a bright flash - and his legs fall off.