...... arrives at the pearly gates and St Peter says "Lucciano...welcome. Squeeze though."

Pavarotti says "The Pope sent this." and he hands over an envelope.

St peter opens it and inside he finds a note.

Dear Pete, here's that tenor I owe you."

Pavarotti is going to be buried in his favourite car - a nissan dormabile

Pavarotti tribute buffet........All you can eat for a tenor

Ooh, quite possibly in bad taste there. Must admit the first one was bloody clever though
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Maybe if this sig is witty enough someone will finally love me...

(Oh what do you expect? I mean really)

An englishman,irishman and scotsman are at an ID parade about an attempted rape that took place the week before.
The woman is directed to the line up by the police officer when paddy suddenly points at her and says'Thats the miserable bitch, right there'

There is a whip round for Pavarotti's funeral. everyone is being asked to "Put a Tenor in the box".