WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING love?
Because they are plugged into a genius

WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING FOREPLAY?
They don't have enough time

WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
They don't stop to ask directions

WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn


WHAT DO ELECTRIC TRAINS AND BREASTS HAVE IN COMMON?
They're intended for children, but men usually play with them

WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock

WHY DO MEN MASTURBATE?
It is love with someone they love

WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties

WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
You need a rough draft before you make a final copy

WHY IS A MAN'S PEE YELLOW AND HIS SPERM WHITE?
So he can tell if he's coming or going

HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
It's never happened.

Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?

A.) So men can be open minded.



Q.) What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?

A.) The longer you play with them, the harder they get.



Q.) What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?

A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!



Q.) Three words to ruin a man's ego...

A.) "Is it in?"



Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers?

A.) Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.



Q.) What do bungee jumping and hookers have in common?

A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.



1st guy: I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for
women.
2nd guy: What happened?
1st guy: I got my penis caught in the bottle.

That's kinda unfair...