An old lady is walking in a cemetery and sees a man behind a gravestone. She says: 'morning'. The man replies: 'no just having a shit'.

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks,"Excuthe me, do
you have any widdle wabbits?"
The shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on
his knees so that he's on her level, and says, "Do you want a widdle white
wabbit or a thoft,fwuffy bwack wabbit, or one like that widdle bwrown wabbit
over there?"
The little girl blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and whispers ..."I don't weally fink my pet pyfon
gives a phuk"

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