Life before computers:

Memory was something you lost with age;
An application was for employment;
A programme was a show on TV;
A cursor was someone who swears a lot;
A keyboard was a piano;
A web was a spiders home;
A virus was the flu;
A hard drive was a long trip down the motorway;
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived;
And if you had a 3-inch floppy... well you just hoped and prayed no bastard found out.