A man goes to the doctors for a penis extension. The doctor suggests a baby elephants trunk stuck on for 3 grand.

The man agrees and 6 weeks later while having dinner with a new girlfriend he feels and unusual stirring in his pants and thinks it may be his lucky night.

While chatting over dinner, his penis flies out and steal a bun off the table and goes back.

"Wow!" the woman says, "Can you do that again?"

The man says "my penis can, but I don't think my arse can take another bun!"

A man walks into a pharmacy and asks where the tampons are. The pharmacist replies "Over by the cotton wool"

The guy comes back with cotton wool and toilet roll.

The Pharmacist asks "I thought you wanted tampons?" The man replies "I asked her to get me fags, and she came home with baccy and rizlas instead, so tonight she can roll her own fucking tampon!"

2nd one made me giggle nice 1