All Jokes on here look really good

I hope mine lives up to them.

Two Irishmen walking along find a mirror in the middle of the road.

The first one picks it up looks into it and says "That face looks familiar but I can't put a name to it"

The second one then picks it up and says "It's me you stupid idiot".

Mark..

cute...sounds like a blonde joke...or some of my friends when there really drunk..hehe

tsk, typical Irish joke and as one with a half Irish mother I would take extreme offence, but the Scots, English and Spanish in me thinks it's hilarious

considering that its only the scots english and spanish bits of her that are laughing, you can only give her a 3/4 power slap..... that or a good hard one using only three fingers

Well i'm half Irish and I have to say I freaking LOVE Irish jokes, okay, I have a whole treasure trove of cringeworthy ones, here we go

Paddy was walking home one night when he spies Murphy on the roof of the pub
Paddy- "Murphy, whatcha up there for?"
Murphy- "Why, some bugger told me drinks were on the house!!!!!"
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One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!!"
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There was this guy who was 1/2 Irish, 1/2 Scottish.
He wanted a drink but he couldn't bring himself to buy one.


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Murphy was staggering home with a small Paddy in his back pocket when he
slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running
down his leg.

"Please, God," he implored, "let it be blood!"
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A cop pulls up two Irish drunks, and says to the first,
"What's your name and address?"
"I'm Paddy O'Day, of no fixed address."
The cop turns to the second drunk, and asks the same question.
"I'm Murphy O'Toole, and I live in the flat above Paddy."
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Brenda O'Malley is home as usual, making dinner, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ye." "Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?""That's what I'm here to be tellin' ye, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery...""Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me...""Sure and I must, Brenda. Your husband Seamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry." Brenda reached a hand out to her side, found the arm of the rocking chair by the fireplace, pulled the chair to her and collapsed into it. She wept for many minutes. Finally she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?""It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinnesss Stout and drowned.""Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?""Well, no Brenda......no.""No?""Fact is, he got out three times to pee."
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