A woman with really hairy underarms boards a crowded bus. Unable to find a seat, she settles for hanging onto one of the poles. A drunk man next to her stares at her for three minutes, then tells her, "I love a woman that does aerobics." The woman replies angrily, "I don't DO aerobics!" The drunk man then looks at the woman and says, "Then how did you get your leg up so high?"

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www.lizmadsen.com

Haha

Thank u darkAngelus.

Hee Hee Good one

Thank u cheekymunkey.

Good girls and bad girls!

Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"... Bad girls say, "what’s for breakfast?"

Good girls never go after another girl’s man... Bad girls go after him AND his brother.

Good girls wear white cotton panties... Bad girls don’t wear any.

Good girls wax their floors... Bad girls wax their bikini lines.

Good girls loosen a few buttons when it’s hot... Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.

Good girls make chicken for dinner... Bad girls make reservations

Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies... Bad girls

know they could do better

Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss... Bad girls never do either, unless he’s very, very rich.

Good girls believe they’re not fully dressed without a strand of pearls... Bad girls believe that they are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.

Good girls love Italian food... Bad girls love Italian waiters.

Good girls prefer the missionary position... Bad girls do too-when acting out a "virgin" fantasy.

Good girls pack their toothbrush... Bad girls pack their diaphragms.

Good girls save for a rainy day... Bad girls save for a Chanel suit.

Good girls own only one credit card and rarely use it... Bad girls own only one bra and rarely use it.

Good girls wear high heels to work... Bad girls wear high heels to bed.

Good girls think the office is the wrong place to have a romance... Bad girls think NO place is the wrong place.

Good girls have stocks... Bad girls have stockbrokers.

Good girls collect silk shirts... Bad girls collect chiffon teddies.

Good girls just say no... Bad girls just say when.

Good girls never do "it" on the first date... Bad girls wait to see what kind of car he’s driving.

Good girls read best-sellers... Bad girls sleep with their authors.

Good girls write condolence notes... Bad girls marry the widower.
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When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.