Q. How can you tell when your girlfriend is really turned on ?

A. You stick your hand inside her undies and it feels like a horse eating oats from your hand.

Definitely confused about where the hand is being put. The jokes obviously American, by which I mean, not funny.
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Vidi Vici Veni

I got in touch with my feminine side. She emailed me back saying if I ever contacted her again she'd call the police.