A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents.


Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.


The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the counter, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.


The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.


That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!'


The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.


10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.'
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The boy turns, and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'
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bloody excellent
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Very good!

Ahhh,..... O M G now that was funny CLASSIC

Love it!!

The boy, Fran, had started work on a farm. He was totally ignorant about sex matters. While they were all working in the field one day, the farmer noticed a bulge in Fran’s trousers. ‘Oy, Fran, what’s up there?’ he asked nodding to the boy’s flies.
Fran was a bit embarrassed and moved closer to the farmer. ‘I done know wot it is, govnor, but my prick keeps gettin large and then shrinkin.’
The farmer said, ‘Let’s have a look then.’
The boy showed him. It was just erection, but the farmer looked over Fran’s shoulder and winked at the other men.
‘Jez, Fran, that’s pretty serious that! Does it get large every so often and sometimes won’t go away?’ he asked.
Fran nodded, ‘Yeah, Yeah. Wot is it?’
The farmer looked grave, ‘Does it sometimes feel as if your balls will explode?’
‘Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. Wot the hell is it?’
The farmer shook his head, ‘Oh, Fran, it’s got to be treated, you know. I’ve seen it in the horses and the cattle and you’ve got to do something about it.’
‘Wot, govnor? Wot I got to do?’
The farmer put his arm around Fran’s shoulder and whispered in his ear, ‘You have to go in the cow-shed and take a handful of cow-dung – fresh, mind – in each hand and slap them on it. That’s what you have to do. That’ll cure it! And you’ll be right as rain.’
The farmer and the men watched Fran walking back towards the farm and they had a good chuckle.
An hour later they saw him sauntering back, smiling and whistling.
They gathered around and asked what happened.
Fran said, ‘Oh, I wos standin there, in the cowshed, wid my trousers off… I done want to get ‘em mucked up, see. With a handful of cow-dung in each hand… Tryin to get the nerve up to slap it on, when Milly, the govnor’s daughter, walks in.’
The men looked at the farmer and he looked at Fran and said quietly, ‘What happened then, Fran?’
Fran continued, ‘Well, I tole her wot you’d said, like, and she looked at my problem and then she looked at me all shy like… You know, sometimes, how she sort of looks under her eyes, thu her hair and…’
The farmer said, ‘Get on with it! Get on with it!’
‘Sorry, govnor. She smiled at me and bit her lip and said “Oh, Fran, you don’t want to do that. I’ve a much better idea.’ So she then…
The farmer said, ‘Right, that’ll do Fran, let’s get back to work.’
The men, though, chorused, ‘No, No. Tell us what happened, Fran!’
‘Well, she took off her skirt an underclothes, so she was naked from the waist down, like me and then she lays down on the straw bails and says to me “Don’t do that, Fran, I think you should put it in here, between my legs.” and I…’
The farmer was deathly pale now and hanging on to some of the men. He croaked, ‘No! No! Lads. Lets’ get back…’
‘No! Go on, Fran! Go on!’ the men shouted.
Fran was confused and didn’t know what to say, or do.
After a while, Fran said quietly, ‘It did cure my problem, govnor. An I'm right as rain.’
The farmer eventually said, in a weak voice, ‘Oh, God, what have you done, Fran?’
‘I did wot she said, govnor.’
‘What was that? What, Fran?’ the men shouted.
And Fran said…
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‘I slapped the two handfuls exactly where she tole me.’

AH HAHAHA..... excellent... i liked the last joke XD

so a little boy and his grandfather are in the kitchen, grandma to the boy making lunch for their fishing trip you see... packing a good sized meal the the husband and sandwich and home made cookies for the grandson... they leave for the fishing trip and the grandfather and them take out the boat to the pond and start fishing.

after a while the grandfather takes out a cigar and gives a few good puffs, the grandson looking at him curiously and says 'hey can i try some of that?' the grandfather says 'can your dick touch your asshole?' 'no' says the boy. 'then you cant have it' and they go back to fishing...

a bit more time passes and the grandfather takes out some whiskey and drinks down some, the boy again asks if he can have some. 'can your dick touch your asshole?' 'no...' 'well then you cant have some'... the two are enjoying themselves still and get hungry, the grandfather eating his lunch and the grandson with his.

the grandfather asks 'thats one of your grandmas cookies, right? can i have one?' the boy grins and says 'can your dick touch your asshole?' the grandfather surprised but answers 'actually yeah'...

the grandson says 'well you can go fuck yourself, grandma made these cookies for ME!'