A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral to it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began telling their stories.
Most of them were the usual "Don't put all your eggs in one basket," or "don't count your chickens before they're hatched," variety until the teacher asked little Michael to tell his story.
"My daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen," he began. "Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was 2 bottles of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops!
She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets, then she killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke, and then she killed the last ten with her bare hands!"
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Stay the f*ck away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking"