knob

I struggled with this lol but walloper for me!! lol always makes me laff wen i say it!

douch bag,lol

Dry Up!

INTERLOPER!

Flange!!

ballbag
bar steward
bumberclark
numpty

Penis Head & plum

and any other random thing i make up lol

carpet face

FLANGE! is one I use when something goes pear-shaped and I dont want to actually swear, when i'm at work usually.

"Ooooh.....APPLE CRUMBLE!" is often used at work too, by lots of people, and there's an interesting story to explain why.
Well actually it's not so much interesting as it is long, so I won't bother.

Just plain old "D'oh!" is also a perrenial favourite, and I'm quite fond of 'oh bugger', and 'fucksticks!' too.
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loblocks

An anagram of bollocks!

Tadger lol makes me giggle wen i say it aswell

I don't really have a favourite, but I'm normally pretty inventive when it comes to insulting people. It all depends on the person of course, but insulting people is kind of a hobby, and I'm pretty proficient in it now.
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Vidi Vici Veni

I got in touch with my feminine side. She emailed me back saying if I ever contacted her again she'd call the police.