I like calling people spoons. It give a warm sense of well being.

shopping trolley

bottom orifice

arseholes

jo blob

dingbat

schnozzle whiffinger

Knob jockey

thundering sodomites

(is that homophobic? )

woopsy daisy

My Ex used to hate it when I called him a DICK

cartless hunt

twazzock

fish head

moron

fail

Dingle.

Aimed at Wolves fans.
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Muppet or Spunk Bubble, especially for a guy at work ............

Peenarse lol?

My fav is eejit...but only sounds right when an irishman says it :O

Ball Root or Root.