granted but it would be made from recycled wee (blame Romangypsy for putting the idea into my head)

I wish I could drink alcohol

Granted, but it would be a glass of what Sailorman, and you'd have to take a tour through the "recycling plant" first!

I wish work would end before it started, and we got paid for it.

Granted as long as we pay no tax either

I wish for a 6 month holiday

Granted, but you spend it on an island like tom cruise in castaway, except in your FedEx package, there's a rubber dildo.

I wish everyone gets their wish.

Granted as long as you take the dildo off my hands

I wish for a cup of tea

granted but it would be in a thimble

I wish i could stop buggering around on the internet and do my work

Not granted. Where would the fun be in that?

I wish MJT to stop trying to be sensible

Granted, she isnt. she's still here.

i wish i could visit all the people off here and make a huge documentary about it

Granted as long as it's in the style of the Office

I wish to be part of Shiraz's production team

granted but you have to be his hair fluffer

I wish i had food

granted if you can send me a proper northern pie

I wish it was lunchtime

Granted, but you know what Douglas Adams said "Reality is just an illusion, Lunchtime doubly so"

I wish to go on an adventure.

granted but it has to be with me and you know what my adventures are like

I wish i could ride a bike

i'll go with you. provided you protect me

granted, but your mate will stand you up when you want to go riding

i wish i could freeze time

granted but you have to sell your soul


I wish I had a helper monkey