I think it's broke


The Pool Boy
Random Gentle Sex Dreamer (RGSDm)


Friendly and eager. You are The Pool Boy.

A teen at heart, you anxiously move about your daily tasks, hoping, praying for a good, instant lay. You're carefree, enthusiastic, and rarely discouraged. Love is cool, but it's not for you right now. You know what is? Crotches.

You're a fun person in both big and small groups, and your friends trust and love you. Inside you, meanwhile, your lust is only growing. Imagine your beating heart sprouting pubic hair. Exactly. Try shaving that.


Your exact opposite:
The False Messiah

Deliberate Brutal Love Master

If you're not scoring enough--which you aren't--you should adopt new strategies. Lower your standards. Be aggressive. Pool Boys are often submissive and hope (desperately) sex will find them. Realize that passiveness will not hook the horny girls you desire. A bolder approach and sheer repetition will.

When browsing OkCupid, consider both The Dirty Little Secret and The Playstation.


ALWAYS AVOID: The Battleaxe, The Priss

The Slow Dancer
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDm)


Steady, reliable, and cradling her tenderly. Take a deep breath, and let it out real easy...you are The Slow Dancer.

Your focus is love, not sex, and for your age, you have average experience. But you're a great, thoughtful guy, and your love life improves every year. There's also a powerful elimination process working in your favor: most Playboy types get stuck raising unwanted kids before you even begin settling down. The women left over will be hot and yours. Your ideal woman is someone intimate, intelligent, and very supportive.


Your exact opposite:
The Hornivore

Random Brutal Sex Master

While you're not exactly the life of the party, you do thrive in small groups of smart people. Your circle of friends is extra tight and it's HIGHLY likely they're just like you. You appreciate symmetry in relationships.




ALWAYS AVOID: The Battleaxe

CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor or The Sonnet

The Playboy
Random Gentle Sex Master (RGSMm)


Clean. Smooth. Successful. You're The Playboy.

You're spontaneous, and your energy is highly contagious. Guys therefore find you fun to be around, and girls find you compelling. You have lots of sex, and you manage it all without seeming cheap or being hurtful. Well done. You probably know karate, too.


Your exact opposite:
The Mixed Messenger

Deliberate Brutal Love Dreamer
It's obvious to us, and probably everyone else, that you're after physical rather than emotional relationships, but you're straight up with potential partners. And if a girl you want isn't into something casual, it's no big deal. You move on. BEFORE sleeping with her. Usually. At least you try to. Such control is rare.

If you're feeling unfulfilled, maybe you should raise your standards. New conquests will only be satisfying if there's a possibility of rejection.


ALWAYS AVOID: The Priss

CONSIDER: The Dirty Little Secret, The Nurse

The Sonnet
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLD)


Romantic, hopeful, and composed. You are the Sonnet. Get it? Composed?

Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance.


Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You're already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there's no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so.

You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls.


ALWAYS AVOID: The 5-Night Stand (DBSM), The False Messiah (DBLM), The Hornivore (RBSM), The Last Man on Earth (RBSD)

CONSIDER: The Loverboy (RGLM)