Is often to be heard ringing young women and pretending to be God:
'Yes, my beloved child, bbones will be around shortly and you must take him in your arms! And then get out your feather spatula... No, No, don't worry... A high-heel shoe will do just as well!'

'No, No, I can't just make a feather spatula appear out of nowhere... I'm not bloody Tommy Cooper!'

'No, No, I said beloved Tommy Cooper... Hello? Hello?'
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Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
(Jack Benny)

Plays Lady Gaga's 'Pokerface' on the pan pipes to impress women at parties.

Oakman sleeps in a cabin bed with a thomas the tank engine quilt cover, a balding chewbacca stuffed toy and a pirate flag tied to one of the posts. He's even covered it with ben 10 stickers. However he ruins this whole child like effect by having a mirrored ceiling above it.
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Vidi Vici Veni

I got in touch with my feminine side. She emailed me back saying if I ever contacted her again she'd call the police.

dances in the loo with eggs from his pet spider whom he shot with his dart gun after he found out she had an affair with the elusive tub roach with amazin grip to make it walk/run across baths and dodge dart bullets.. he came out the loo to reload his ammo when his roommate took the pic
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francine needn some attention
wilma givn that thank u smooch
ha no im not pinchin lois' tig ol bitties
betty wonderin how the marry she ended up here

Caught by the police in a tent, in the New Forest, whilst pleasuring himself over a picture of Ray Mears.

Has large collection of Barry Manilow memorabilia in his loft
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Arrive.Raise Hell.Leave

Has offered me £150,000 for my Manilow collection. Thinks it will appreciate in value quicker than his collection of Thundercats figurines.

had a date with littlevixen and was kicked out in the middle of the night because she caught him in her clothes and heels serenading her pet parrot after teachin it to say "its oakie doakie oakman poke me, its oakie doakie oakman poke me, its oakie doakie oakman poke me"
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francine needn some attention
wilma givn that thank u smooch
ha no im not pinchin lois' tig ol bitties
betty wonderin how the marry she ended up here

I have no comeback to the above post.

Is planning a body swap with a short person so he can look at life from a new perspective.
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http://arisingmoon.deviantart.com/gallery/#-Fantasy-Art-
http://myriad28.spaces.live.com/

Oakman hustles folk at his local pool hall
_________________
Arrive.Raise Hell.Leave

Spends every wednesday night polishing his dance routine to Vanilla Ice... Ice Ice Baby, with his home karaoke machine..

Has been building a time machine in his garage
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http://arisingmoon.deviantart.com/gallery/#-Fantasy-Art-
http://myriad28.spaces.live.com/

Has an acid house vinyl collection that fills her spare room.