Knows an awful lot about Handsel. Judging by the lack of white coat, Scottie is a fellow inmate.

he was on big brother

Is the big brother that Kad was on

Never misses the State Opening of Parliament and has a photo of Black Rod on his bedroom wall.

Tapes every episode of Pop Master on Radio 2, to play back when nuclear war breaks out and he is resting in his bunker.

Vehemently believes that Ashton Kutcher should take over from Daniel Craig as the new James Bond.

Narrated the Magic Roundabout

Confuses people at parties by introducing himself as a God-fearing atheist.

Touches mine if I touch his.

has a pet cat who he spends long evenings stroking and calls it john prescott.

Has a pet Gordon Brown he spends long evenings kicking and calls it Tony Blair.
Introduces himself at parties as a practising atheist.
Perfected the forward, one and three quarter reverse Tourette's Syndrome.
_________________
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
(Jack Benny)

Repeats the mantra 'It places the lotion in the basket' whenever shopping for skincare products in Tesco's.

Dom likes to take disguises with him when he goes out shopping so that he can take advantage of special offers again and again.

Wears matching frilly lemon yellow knickers and bra throughout Advent and a red thong during Lent.

Great mates with the Lincolnshire Poacher and always seems well-stocked with salmon, rabbit, etc. Serves them in the frilly lemon yellow knickers and bra - even when it's NOT Advent!
(Yeah! Ever seen salmon in a frilly knickers and bra? )
_________________
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
(Jack Benny)