..."Congratulations! You have won a year`s supply of...

Condoms and lube...

So he opened the pack and said............

"Whats that smell?"
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When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

It was smoke. The house was on fire! Dropping the box, he rushed back into the house to save his most treasured possession, which was....

his plastic doll, then he rushed right out and....

...tripped over the box of (ahem) condoms and lube, which sent his doll flying through the air and out into the street, where it was caught by a passing...

dog which then ran away with the doll, so he decided to....

...go back into the house, fight through the flames and smoke to find his puncture repair kit, before giving chase to the dog....

so he ran down the street after the dog and finally caught it but when he looked down he realised he was totaly naked......

so he used the doll to cover his modesty, or at least thats what he told the arresting officers, but........

he was definitely naked. Hello, hello, hello said the arresting officers, whats going on here then, I can see Sir that...........

your companion is looking a little deflated, i think you'd better both accomany us to ............