By making you watch this clip over and over:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0om9WD8AsI&feature=related

Hahahaha!

I'd dip you in a vat of jam, staple you to a tree and wait for an angry hoard of wasps to attack...probably?!

I would invent a time machine to take us back to biblicle times where I would get a job as a baker, ~I would then plant a croissant and a cinimon swirl on your person, then you would be stoned to death for theft!
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Let it never be said that romance is dead.'Cos there is so little else occupying my head. There is nothing I need except the function to breathe But I'm not really fussed doesn't matter to me.

I have a frozen cucumber, so i would beat you to death with it, let it defrost and feed the cucumber and bits to the guinea pigs, evidence gone, pigs happy lol

I think that I would have to wait till you fell asleep, kidnap you, drive you to the mr kipling factory and force feed you french fancies until the job was done!

I would stick pineapples up his arse until he beld to death!
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Let it never be said that romance is dead.'Cos there is so little else occupying my head. There is nothing I need except the function to breathe But I'm not really fussed doesn't matter to me.

I would have no choice but to buy a 1983 Renault 5 without a tax or mot, spike your tea with nytol, stick you in the boot, abandon the car on double yellow lines, with you blissfully asleep and then wait until they took the car to the scrap yard and put it in the big car squishing machine.

p.s. i like the way you used the plural of pineapple, i'm sure one would be enough

I'd feed you to a grizzly bear. a horny one as well.

I think that I would have to make him wear a suit made of meat and drop him in the lion enclosure at the zoo!

Stick him in a room full of the trolls that are on here at the moment .......... you would be bored to death within an hour

suffocate her with her bagpuss

i'd dip you in liquid nitrogen and the lob a hard-boiled egg at you and watch you shatter into a million pieces.

I'd take you to that insane lumberjack barber from monty python.

I'd have no option but to kidnap you, take you to a towerblock and make you jump from the first floor 87 times, rather than off the 87th floor once....incase I changed my mind!

lock him in a room with barney the dinasour and the telle tubbies he will soon kill himself