Hi Pple,

I am 28 and Im a virgin. Lately ive been getting a lot of flakes from my friends, both male and female who think its crazy that Im still a virgin at this age...some of them actually think im gay...lol...
Its not like I hate sex or something, Its just something I wanna do only when I get married.
Ive lost past gfs who dont undertsand my abstenance principle. Its not like we dont kiss or make out but I dont go beyond the bothers of sex.

But now, im really bothered cos Im single and been like this for a while...like 1 year and its really horrible been single. Im wondering if this is a curse or a blessing and mayb i should bend my rules? what do u think?

PS: and if there's any gurl out there, who wouldnt mind dating a virgin ...holla...she doesnt have to be one....

waiting to hear your replies!

I do believe it's quite hard to apply the wedding principle these days... I mean it's hard to find someone who's willing to marry someone else before they have sex with them... I think the world's changed and most people won't marry someone they don't know to be good in bed, because, after all, marriage is supposed to be a long thing and sex is supposed to be an important thing...
I don't know... That's just my opinion.
Curse, blessing? Who knows? Depends on the person, I'm sure. You could find a girl willing to do that, but you'd have to be lucky or search really hard.
_________________


www.lizmadsen.com

Hey Stick to your principles!! Anybody who gives you flack for being who you are is just plain rude and is not a real friend. How dare anybody ridicule you for your priniciples???? And it's really none of their business anyway!!!
I don't know what you base your principles on, whether it be from a religious point of view or just something that is important to you.
But, whatever your reasons, it obviously IS important to you, so sod what other people think, be proud of who you are and quite honestly if a girlfriend or anybody else tries to pressure you into 'being like them' give 'em the elbow cuz they aren't worthy of you!!
There is more to life than sex, get out there and make new friends, do new things and one day you will meet the lady of your dreams who loves you for who you are and wants to wait til you are married to enjoy things of the flesh.
I wish I had met someone like you years ago when I was younger - I had my life all planned out that I was going to wait til I was married - then some bastard raped me when I was 14 and that was the end of that and unfortunately for a few years after that I had no respect for myself and met a few guys who didn't either. My biggest regret that will haunt me to my grave.
So hang in there my love, stick to your principles and be proud of them!!!

I agree with Bliss - there aren't many people around who live by the "not before marriage" principle but they are out there. I actually know quite a lot of girls who are waiting until they are married before having sex but they are doing it (or rather not doing it) because of their religion and are most likely looking for a man who shares their beliefs and ideals in that respect.

I do admire you for sticking by your principles though sheffieldguy, don't give up! People are so quick to throw away what they believe in because it's not the "popular" viewpoint, *sigh*. So I think what you are doing takes courage and shows strength of character - good for you! I'm sure you will find a lovely girl who wants the same things as you but you just have to look in the right places...

It occured to me today --- have you thought about joining an online dating site for christians? I doubt if it matters if you are christian or not.
I have a few friends who are catholic - yes there ARE men and women out there 'saving themselves for marriage' - There is a catholic website I forget what its called (minglesomething?) but I guess you'd have to pay to join.
But good luck here and have fun!

I'd only get married to someone I had a good sexual chemistry with.
If women feel the same way, there are a lot of very nice interesting people that you are discarding because of your principles.
I don't know why you have these principles. You can still be a person of great integrity without being a virgin.
Sex isn't a big deal. No one really cares about your principles, and no one's going to judge you or think better of you for having them.
If I were you I'd reallocate my principles to something like giving regularly to charity or living more carbon neutrally. Abstaining on crumpet may result in you ending up trapped in a marriage with someone you can't get close to.

I am shocked that anyone could say that people dont care about a person's principles? If everyone had No Principles, then what on earth....? Personally, it;s a person's "principles" (about *any* issue) that either attracts me or not.
If one can't *respect* another person's principles there is no hope.
You suggest this guy gives to charity in exchange for having a shag just because you think the woman doesnt care that he'd rather wait til he's married? A peson can have the morals of an alleycat (sexually speaking, I'm not actually making moral judgement, its just a metaphor) and still have the goodness to give to charity.
Maybe the guy gives to charity already?
I don't see the connection?
I didnt get the impression this guy abstains to make himself feel good, in the way that giving to charity does.
Anyways, its a good thing that we all have different opinions on the subject cuz that's what the guy was asking for - a balanced view so he could then decide how he then feels about it all.

Listen, you guys... I heard guys speakin' of virgin girls good things as well as bad things. Some are sayin' that if you came to a certain age and nobody got drunk enough to feck you, there must be something wrong with you. Even if you're cute. Anyways... Others are sayin: It's amazing that the person managed to save it so far, most peeps are losing it very early these days. Also virgins are looked at as less likely to catch some disease from than others...
There are lots of opinions on the subject. It eventually comes to what you want, what you feel and what you need. If you par example live in a place where everyone hates people who eat spinach, you'll have to choose between moving somewhere else (if possible), quit eating spinach, or continue eating spinach because that's what you want (whilst living in the same place) and being alone... ya know?
_________________


www.lizmadsen.com

Good on you for managing to hold out for 28 years, if you ask me that is something to be proud of.
It's easy to give in to temptation and just go out and get laid, but if you are really holding out for marraige, then good on you mate, I can only imagine how hard it must be to resist the temptation, if you have had girlfriends in the past.
If you really do strongly beleive in no sex before you are married, then stick to your guns, it's your life no-one elses!

I would still be a virgin now at 41 if I hadn't gone out and paid for sex a few times in my twenties and thrities. My problem is that I simply cannot get any dates with women no matter how hard I try. I suppose my bad ugly looks put women off me.

By the way if you are 28 and still a virgin but can get dates with women then take the opportunity to lose your virginity even if you think there is not much possibility of them marrying you. As it is far better than staying a virgin.