All this leads us onto a bigger question. Why do some women look at a man for what they can turn him into, rather than what he is?

I'm sorry if this comes across as sexist, that isn't my intention. But I've known several blokes who have met a new girlfriend, and she has gone about changing that guy into what she wants, rather than accepting what he is like. Surely if you truely love somebody, then you don't want them to change.

Maybe its just me.

If you found your perfect partner then you wouldn't need to change a thing 'cos perfect would mean accepting them for who they already are.

I think people trying to change partners goes both ways, there are as many men trying to change their women as there are women trying to change their men. You only have to visit a refuge to see how many beautiful confident women have ended up with no sense of self so it certainly isn't a one way thing!

Ha, anyone thinks they can change me has a fight on their hands! Best way to enter a relationship is with the intention of finding compromise when its needed rather than of trying to force change.

My best advice would be be yourself. I have a feeling that ladies would prefer to compromise a little and adapt to someone who is not quite perfect but is honest and upfront and happy with themselves, rather than be with someone trying to live up to something they are not. Those with any integrity that is. And I assume doc that that's a quality high on your wish-list?

Also, being yourself is a lot easier, as you can be very lazy indeed and it still works

washing cloths is easy - you just wait till the pile on the floor is big enough, then lob it all in the machine

One thing that shouldn't be assumed, in all of this, is that maybe people change in some ways because they want to do so ? I the way I am changes in some ways, but there's no pressure or force involved. I just get a bit slack in some ways when it's just me I have to think about.

I now like you that little bit more, please keep posting.....

wow thats going some. Hope you dont stay away long Muse, you are an interesting poster on here...

I think he must find you intimidating, well he will now......