I joined this forum a long time back, late twenties I think I was, as I did with other free forums.

At the time it was a bit of a laugh and I was still going out, enjoying my beer and meeting girls on nights out etc. I didn't take internet dating seriously hence the joke username (I should get around to changing that!), but I did find some really great people online (apart from the fake con artists from Russia!!!)

Now I'm 33 and haven't had a serious relationship in 5 years! All my friends have settled down and don't get to go out anymore, meaning I've kind of left it a little late and the clock is ticking!!! I'm stuck in a rut and really want to start dating and meet someone but ran out of social circles.

Ring any bells with anyone here?

The problem is, I don't want to leave meeting someone to chance and rushing into something and that's when I decided to start looking more on the internet. You can meet up with people who have similar interests and find a better match.

So, how many are on internet sites like this to socialize or date?

How difficult have you found searching on the internet for a partner?

Post here, tell your story or what you really want, as no one is going to find you unless you put yourself in the picture, so to speak. We're not getting any younger so let's have some confessions.

Well i havn't met anyone from the internet in 2 years ........ i made this decision as i had my fingers burnt a couple of times.

This is only dating site i have ever been on, and now come on here to chat with friends etc.

I am sure it works for some people ........ but i dont have the time or energy to sort out the Good from the Bad anymore. Some people continue to keep getting their fingers burnt and then come back for me, thats not for me

Hello...... feeling like you do... as shared above, I reckon you might do well to not just change your name, but up-date your whole profile to reflect the person you ARE NOW and answer some of the questions. Are your pics recent too? If not, change them as well.

I've met quite a few people from here and I also adapt my profile to reflect what I'm interested in as it does alter according to the experiences and connections I make in life. I regularly up date my pictures too as I want to be sure that I am seen as the person I truly am.

Thanks for the replies.

It's sad to hear that annmarie. The internet is a truly wonderful medium for meeting people you would never normally have a chance to meet, and should in theory be a great way of finding a match. There are a lot of people who go on social and dating sites just to brag how popular they are, or satisfy their own ego, which is a shame.

Mirrorpool, glad you can empathize with where I'm coming from. That picture was taken about 2 years ago, so I haven't changed much. You're right about my profile - needs drastically updating.

It just seems there are so many single people out there that never get the chance to meet, we have this internet medium to make the world smaller, yet it's still a right battle to meet someone or to know whose serious!!!

There is a stigma or resistance about using the internet seriously by most people, and that's part of the problem I guess.

I have met some wonderful people ......... who are now my best friends in 'real life'

The kind of people you referring to who like to feed their ego on sites like this ...... are not my type of person at all ...... which i am sure the regulars on here will verify

Your comment about not knowing who is serious is exactly the reason i stopped looking to meet someone on here.

I think the main problem is there is too mcuh temptation on dating sites to stay faithful to one person, and yes i know there are exceptions to the rule, but they are very few and far between.

Wow, great to hear annmarie that at least the internet has lead to great friendships!

I guess using sites like this as a tool to seek out new friends is a start. Socializing with different groups of people definitely gives a greater opportunity of meeting someone you really get on with.

It's so easy to get stuck in a rut and before you know it, 5 more years have passed. I just kept on living thinking to myself I'll meet someone eventually, just let it happen and don't be desperate! Now I realise you really do have to look hard if your social circles have broken down.

I just want to start making changes to my life so I can meet new people and increase my chances of finding someone right.

My current week to week routine isn't cutting it, so I need to socialize online, join groups in real life, find hobbies - just need to change things so I can get out and meet new people. Very much easier said than done!

It's funny, I'm willing to bet there are people who feel like me all over the country yet our week to week habits and commitments stop us from finding each other. It's sad there are so many people out there not getting together!

I think it would help if people were honest about saying that they want to make friends to broaden their social circle BUT when you make it clear that is ALL you're interested in too, it becomes clear that it's NOT what they want at all, they're hoping to change your mind to become a love partner.

I've also made some great friends on the net and it can mean offers to stay with people all over the world if you want. I live in a coastal town and have had a fair few people from the net come to stay with me as visitors, and I don't just mean lovers either.

I would say I am. Truth be told Ive found it harder and harder to get a date at all these days, Ive been single for over 2 years. Though this site doesnt really help much because no one gives me the time of day.

I've probably never been on here for dating, just for chatting and making friends....but it hasnt really worked out as I wanted.

In fact its going down the dating route that spoilt it for me. I shouldn't have got suckered into it

I joined FB to chat with people from the UK. I'm planning a trip there and thought that it would be nice to get some pointers as to what to see and do while I am there. Kind of like the inside scoop you could say. I have gotten a lot of helpful hints on all that but I have also gotten to know a few people very well. Some of which have become very good friends. I fully intend to meet them when I get there but don't think that you could call it a date. I am very glad that I did join as I hope to keep the friendships that I have made here for a very long time.

Origionally i joined for the dating, found that to be a bit of a losing battle! So i turned to the forums! I think i can honestly say that i have part way given up on dating and would probably hoist the white flag and fill my profile with "I SURRENDER"
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This guy is liscensed to chill, and thrill, but the opportunities to thrill are rather less than anticipated!!!!

I joined nearly 3 years ago after a longterm relationship broke up, but for the first 6 months I didnt really use the site at all, this was the first time i'd joined a dating site & I did actually think I was going to meet someone just like that, but as I was a novice I didnt have a clue, I never even realised about the whole scammer issue, yes, I did get lead up the garden path a few times, but I learnt very soon how to spot them...

I was on here for a year before I met up with someone, (not even going to go there) met a few others along the way, nothing at all serious, mainly just a chat, coffee or the odd meal but nothing that lead to anything, i've made some good friends online & have met several of them & still keep in touch..

The next stage of my time on here started about 8 months ago, when the chatroom started, made a few more friends & one very special one who is now my bf, we first chatted on there in about March when he joined the site, just friendly chat at that time, he made me laugh a lot & in time we got to be very close, we met for the first time in June & I was really worried that it would turn out the same as other previous meetings, but no it was fantastic...he told me about 2 weeks ago that he didnt join to meet anyone, it was just to chat with people, nothing more! nothing less! but here we are a few months later in a loving realtionship..so for me the chatroom has had far better success than the dating side of this site....all in all I would recommend internet dating 100%...

Thanks for sharing your experiences everyone!

Littlevixen, it's nice to hear a positive outcome!

A lot of people join these dating sites and say they are only looking for friends, but I think it's because they don't want to come across desperate and put people off. Plus we know it's less pressure getting to know someone under the guise that it's only for friends, but I think we know deep down many are looking for more.

I've been quite honest in my opening post, but I am quite a straight-to-the-point type of person. I say what I feel, what I mean, as long as it's not cruel or going to hurt someone too much for no reason, as I like to think I have a good sense of empathy towards others too.

The main reason I started this post was to hear from others if specific dating sites like this are a great way forward for meeting other groups of people, or if I'd be better investing my time in other pursuits like joining local groups and take up hobbies or concentrating on the main social networking sites like Facebook. There are of course paid dating services - perhaps they have a more serious and less fake or non-responsive userbase? Anyone have any experiences?

Dating and flirting specific sites only work if people in their community are willing to participate. Looking around, I see a lot of threads from frustrated people who probably expect a site such as this as a quick solution but don't get reposes from their emails.

I see lots of people and profiles, but much less forum activity and chat. So, is this generally a place just to waste internet hours, or a are people really getting social benefits from the site? That's the kind of question that your answers above help me to assess so thank you.

I've done a couple of paying sites and think they've been a waste of money. The main thing is that you can't know enough beforehand to make an informed judgment as to whether the site will suit you. Hence once they've got your money you discover that there may only be a couple of people that live within 50 miles of you OR that the site has no control over scammers both male and female versions.... need I go on?

On fbx
Tbh I think you get out a bit what you put into it on here really. I'm a bit like LV in that I've been here for around 3 yrs and was new to the web as well as dating sites, but I've made friends that I value and I write a lot of messages over time.
If you think the forums are a bit slow, it's not always like it either but may reflect the weather or school holidays (for those with kids)
Also, it may seem like people come and go, BUT I can tell you that WE ARE A FLOATING COMMUNITY OF FRIENDS so when we are quiet here, it may be that we are active with each other on another site or IM and sometimes even phone calls. There are over 40 people that I know on here that I meet on other sites and so I guess this is also true of the others.
I'm a bit off the beaten track in Norfolk, but I go to London often enough to have met people from here when I go there so you can make friends if you want to and if you've got a problem or feel low or worried etc. there's always somebody there for you.