not sure if this is the right area for this, but hrere goes.

I've been a subscribing (paying) member of a popular on-line dating service for about the same time i have been signed up to flirtbox, and i have to say, my success rate at getting dates with the on-line service has been about 200% better than it has been on here.

Any thoughts why? I think one factor maybe that if people are paying thay may feel more inclined to get the most out of it.

Depends on what website it is...I know some commercial dating websites that employ people that keep paying members "entertained" by sending them messages.

On Match.com they even paid people to go on dates with paying members...to keep them as premium members.

Commercial dating sites usually also do not have a "spam" filter if you send out 200x the same message...as paying members that left their credit card details and addresses are less likely to spam. On Flirtbox those messages are blocked...so maybe if you belong to those people, none of your message might have been delivered ?

If you are male, you need to be creative and send individual messages to female members....as there is a high competition and not everyone receives a reply.

Maybe you should use a different picture? Some women don't reply to messages to guys that appear like "posers"...

Maybe you should use a different picture? Some women don't reply to messages to guys that appear like "posers"...

Yes robthebear - I thought you were deformed....balancing your camera on your urm, tripod

Seriously though, I have little experience on any dating website, but I would imagine if someone's paying for it then they are going to be more inclined to actively try to meet someone - on here, I get the impression alot of people aren't really 'ready' to do anything more than pm for a bit....

I had actually toyed with the idea of starting a thread about payment on other dating websites, but felt it might be inappropriate.
Why is it that some dating websites - women membership is free, but guys have to pay?
Isnt that breaking some love discrimination law?
What's that about hey?

They do this because women are always a small percentage of men on online dating sites.

Those website who have a 50% percentage of women do not have more women they just have less men - because they scare the other 80% of the male members off by high-membership fees.

So the women need to put up with the "most desperate" or "most money-wasting" men on those sites...

Any ideas why more men join dating websites than women do?
It's intriguing.

Oh no Jeggae please dont get me wrong, I was not attempting to disparage what you were saying (not sure if 'disparage' is the right word, maybe 'patronise'?) I just wondered if its not a case of 'unmarried mothers' not being on the net, but rather that more men than women are inclined to give this online dating a shot?
I just kind of assumed I suppose that in this day and age just as many women as men are au faix with computers and the internet.
Not that I even know any single mums, but in my entire family/friend population the only two people I know that dont have a computer (let alone internet access) are my ex-hubby and my old dad.

(Taking a deep breath and expecting to be shot down in flames.....)
Another thought that crossed my mind is this.
Are there (please note, this is a question, not a statement) more men than women who are looking for just about anything?
By that I mean, are most women here looking for HappyEverAfter With Just One Man, as opposed to men willing to give anything a try? I've had pm's from married men and men just looking for summat quick and casual....just wondered that was all.
Also, it occurred to me that the stats here say there are several thousand members, but are some of them 'dead in the water' eg havent logged on for yonks, changed their profile and never bothered to delete the old one etc? Might that make a difference to the male/female ratio?
And another thought......are more men likely to recommend a site like this to their mates, whereas a woman might be too shy to admit she's a member to her friends? word of mouth upping the membership among the men?

I go on a lot of forums and messageboards and there are never a high proportion of women on these sites, but mainly men. So unless there are sites that all the women use that I don't know about, there must be loads of women online but not using the net. Which seems to be a waste of money to me.

I live on a rough housing estate, with a lot of unmarried mothers, in what is now a low paid area compared to years ago, and probably most people I know are not on the net. But maybe age is a factor with that.

I know the unmarried mothers around me struggle to live let alone be on the net.

I've writ you privately jeggae cuz what I was trying to say isnt really on-thread.
I can;t tell you much about 'womens websites' but my mum keeps sending me snippets from one she thinks I 'need' - summat to do with housekeeping and keeping your home clutter-free and organized....bless her.
And my sister sends me crap - urm sorry i mean 'interesting articles' - from some menopause website.....I just would have thought more women would join websites about motorbikes and computers and the like....and dating websites, thats why i was amazed that apparently there are more men here than women?

Received your email and replied.

lol you should give me the link, I need some advice on housekeeping and keeping my house clutter free

But I'm surprised if there are 'Mrs Beeton' type sites for women, I thought they were trying to get away from that image. Pity really because it would obviously make these sites run better if there were more women, as I've always said. Which probably concurs with that if paid site work better as they have more equal percentage of the sexes.

Also, on the two free dating site forums I go on there are probably similar amount of men to women using them, and they probably have a greater success in people meeting each other off these forums, although both sites as a whole have a very low percentage of women to men.

But I'm surprised if there are 'Mrs Beeton' type sites for women,

You think??

I'll do some surfing for you......although it has to be said Good Housekeeping has come a long way since the 50's advising a woman to "remember her husband's work is FAR more important than her life at home" and "5 mins before he arrives home, touch up your make-up, and put on a smile as you open to the door to him"..........although I agree with the last one, a friend of mine - a woman actually who was the one going out to work - decided to divorce her hubby as the "last straw" was when she came home from work he'd stopped bothering to get off his ass to greet her at the door..........but I digress.....

To be honest the whole male/female imbalance reminds me of an old joke on EFNet, "Welcome to the internet, where the men are men, the women are men and the teenage girls are FBI agents"

And as for 'Mrs Beeton' type sites existing, well, everything's on the internet, even the stuff that'll make you want to forget all of it *shudder* rule 34...
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(Oh what do you expect? I mean really)